Want to Make a Difference in the World? Start with Your Teens

HOW CAN I MAKE A DIFFERENCE?

The past few months have been a bit challenging, because of the circumstances that we’re living in right now. Between COVID-19 and the turmoil that is gripping our nation in the form of protests and rioting, the few months have been a bit challenging – at least for me. In fact, if I focus on the circumstances, it’s easy for me to get sucked into feeling despair and helplessness. I’m asking myself questions like: How can I make a difference? This feels too big for me to have any kind of impact. Whether it’s coronavirus or injustice and prejudice, I feel so inadequate.

CHOOSING MY HEADSPACE

But. That is not the headspace where I am choosing to live. I refuse to accept that my actions, however small and insignificant, won’t make a difference.

While I can – and will – write letters, petition, and protest, I believe that you cannot legislate change in people's hearts. Yes, a reimagining of policies and new laws needs to happen. But true change will have to go beyond that.

A couple of episodes ago, I shared a story about a little boy picking up starfish, one at a time, on a beach strewn with thousands, and throwing them back into the ocean. He believed that even if he couldn’t help all the starfish, he could help one at a time.

When it comes to making a difference, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I can do, where I am especially equipped and gifted, who is in my sphere of influence.

WHAT’S YOUR CALLING?

I believe that my – and possibly your – calling is to change the world, one teen at a time. To help each one feel seen. Heard. Understood. Valued. To treat each teen with dignity.

It’s so important to me that as I move forward, I cast a vision and work to create unity with my teens.

I know I’ve shared with you before that that is one of my biggest strengths and biggest challenges – I can so easily see the big picture. But the details are much harder for me. I have to lean in and do the hard work of laying out what the specifics look like.

In this case, here’s what I’ve come up with. Whether you’re a big-picture person or a detail guru, I’d like to invite you to join me in these things. Because when we all do something – microscopic or not – it adds up to big shifts in the world.

PLANS FOR MAKING A DIFFERENCE

Here is what I’m going to do to affect change in my world:

I’m going to show up in conversations – especially the hard ones.

Model what it looks like to graciously admit when I’m wrong

Be okay and lean in when I am called out

Call people out

Lean in when it’s hard and uncomfortable

I’m going to educate myself and then share what I’ve learned with my teens.

True history vs. what we’re taught in classrooms

Examine my unconscious bias & unhelpful thought patterns

Make it personal for my teens

I’m going to model and guide critical thinking with my teens.

Look at bias in all forms of media

Compare the big picture to personal experience

Be aware that I don’t know what I don’t know

Intentionally seek out those who don’t look like me to develop relationships. Period.

Proximity breeds understanding

I’m going to fiercely love my teens

Invest time

Become a student of who they are

Listen to them

Challenge their thinking

Communicate that they are heard and understood

Putting this list out there is a way of holding myself accountable for following through to make a difference – another challenge of mine, as I shared in the last episode.

A LIFELONG COMMITMENT TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE

I was listening to one of my favorite podcasters yesterday, as she spoke with her guest, Erica Courdae, whose job is to help companies and organizations facilitate conversations around challenging topics. As they had a very frank discussion about where the host missed the mark in issues of racial injustice and the systemic problems around it, Ms. Courdae pointed out that this is not a one-and-done issue. It’s complex and it’s going to take time, and a dedication to shifting mindsets, patterns, and behaviors that are often so embedded that we don’t even recognize them.

I am committed to engaging in that process and I’d love for you to join me in it. Whether you’re a parent of teens or a teacher of teens, I’m inviting you to make a difference. To start in your circle. To not discount the power of small steps. To tackle this head-on, one teen at a time.