Curious conversations with substance, a girl who collects data and has fun, could this be the closest real dating experience a reality show has ever produced? A shelter in place order at a La Quinta Inn reveals opportunities for Tayshia to make real connections. Marni and Chris Gillis unpack this revolutionary episode of the Bachelorette.
Key takeaways from this episode:
Why it’s important to have technology-free dates What to say to a guy has a pattern of asking you out last minute Quality questions to ask high-quality guys The red flags of emotionally unavailable men How to be feminine and flirty on a dateFinally, Some Semblance of a Real Date [4:03]
Tayshia’s one-on-one date with Ivan was incredibly vulnerable. It’s important to note, this was a no technology affair. The pair played games and opened up about their feelings the exact things people should do to get to know one another. They had a great time without a single screen in the room.
When Tayshia shared her feelings about being bi-racial in 2020 and the BLM movement she got emotional. Some tears were shed. Ivan wasn’t sure what to do, it was hard for him to be with her and her emotions without trying to solve them or fix them. It was vulnerable for her to share her experience and it created intimacy between the two.
An outpouring of emotion leaves a guy wondering how he can fix the issue.
Tayshia made the most of the Truth or Dare game. She asked good dating questions. She collected data, she was curious, and she truly listened to the responses.
Chris says “If a girl is honest about the questions she asks, a guy will tell you exactly who they are.”
Both Marni and Chris were perplexed by Tayshia giving a rose to Zac because he never let his guard down. Could she be interested in emotionally unavailable guys? Zac had trouble asking straight-forward questions. Is Tayshia enticed by mystery men? Is the chemistry so hot she forgot about her values?
Hot, off-the-bat chemistry has often landed girls with a jerk of a guy.
Why Do Women Make Men Jump Through Hoops? [22:45]
It makes sense that if fairy tales were the only love guidance we received as girls, we expect guys to fulfill our every desire. But, does the right guy have to be a knight in shining armor?
The structure of the show regrettably promotes the guys proving themselves to Tayshia. But as Marni points out, Tayshia is dating several guys at once, and at the end of the day, the guy with initiative will stand out in the crowd.
In the real dating world, Marni recommends the ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy and not sharing that you are dating other people when a guy asks you out.
Women tend to be unconsciously looking for reasons to rule a guy out. Train your brain to rule him in before he rules himself out.
Are Guys Wired Differently? [36:11]
Chris says “Yes, guys are wired differently. So, be direct with them.” He adds that guys are constantly in problem-solving mode. And oftentimes, girls just want to be heard and listened to compassionately, not necessarily fixed.
His advice for ladies, if you do tell a guy to do something he will take it literally. Most men don't see beyond the surface. They miss out on the poetry and the layers you may be feeling.
Guys say what they mean and mean what they say. It is not open to interpretation!
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