As we settle into the long-haul of this pandemic, online dating and app dating are a must. Even if you had a not-so-perfect experience with online dating, what’s the harm in giving it another go? Marni and online dating expert, Mike Goldstein, discuss what men need from the women they date to be truly interested, the best and worst online platforms to find what you are looking for, and how dating has changed in the modern era.
Key takeaways from this episode:
How to make a man feel needed Why boundaries are your friends Simple ways to show a man you appreciate him What online dating sites to avoidThe 4 Feelings Men Need to Fall in Love with a Woman [6:09]
Mike created an acronym to describe the four feelings men need to feel to fall in love with a woman, NAAB.
Needed.In the modern era, women are much more independent. Many men feel like they are losing their spot and they need to feel needed. Marni says, the older ideas of romance still exist for women even though times have changed. It is a confusing time for both men and women. Mike offers up some advice on when and how to make a man feel needed.
Your ideal guy may make a lot less money than you.
Men Need to Feel Appreciated for Their Efforts [11:02] Appreciated.
If you ask a man to do a small favor to make him feel needed, thank him for what he did. He needs something to do and reinforce how great it was that he did it. It doesn’t have to be over-the-top just a simple thank you to let him know you noticed.
Men Seek Acceptance [13:44] Accepted.
Mike reveals that we all have minor trauma from our past dating experiences. When we started dating it was probably just based on the way the other person looked. Immaturely, we thought we would change people because we liked the way they looked but they didn't match what we wanted in a partner.
Marni had a major epiphany about this. It is sneaky to try and change someone but we all resist having the hard conversations. Women have to decide if the thing they want to change about a man is a gamechanger or deal breaker.
If the person you are dating does not embody the top five things you want in a person stop dating them.
How a Man Defines Boundaries [19:10] Boundaries.
Boundaries are telling a man what you want and doing it in a happy, nice way. Mike reminds us that men need clear direction in everything. People are not mind readers. Men and women should respect each other by telling the other exactly what they want in a clear way. Dating is so much better when there are open lines of communication.
You can't say the wrong thing to the right person.
Mike’s Guide to Online Dating [25:24]
The first piece of advice Mike offers for online dating is that you must be on the major sites. In the past, he says, apps like Bumble and Hinge did not have many users. But during this pandemic, if you are in your fifties or sixties, you will likely find a person you are attracted to.
Even if you tried online dating in the past and hated it, Marni says, her clients are having fun with it. It's easier than ordering clothes online.
Mike wishes there were more people on OK CUPID. He raves about the algorithm they use but says, hardly any one is on it any more. Most women listening to this podcast will not find their equals there.
People using the Hinge app are a bit more serious about finding a long-term relationship.
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