Marni welcomes bestselling authors and professional coaches, the dynamic duo, Marc and Angel Chernoff into the Den. The couple discusses tips from their latest book, 1000+ Little Habits of Happy, Successful Relationships, secrets of a lasting relationship, and communication strategies to use in the dating process.
Key takeaways from this episode:
5 questions that can save a relationship How to have a repair conversation Communication habits to avoid The power of being gratefulQuestions That Can Save a Relationship [1:58]
Relationships are a huge part of our lives. Therefore, the rituals and habits we build and adopt should focus on communication and relationships. A common myth is if we find the right person they will bring out the best in us and make us happy. In reality, WE are the key to our happiness, not another person.
How can we be life-giving to another human being if we are depleted?
When we are in a relationship we need to tune into the other person by checking in with them and inquiring how we can be of service to them. Asking high-quality questions can help us find a resolution before something turns into a problem.
Repairing a Relationship [10:16]
If a couple reaches a point when a conversation is getting heated, Marc recommends putting ourselves in the right frame of mind. It is unwise to step into an argument when we are in an elevated emotional state.
It is easy to say something more harshly than we meant when we are irritated or hurt. If a partner leaks or has a moment, consciously take a pause.
How to come back to a conversation and say I am sorry in a healthy way?
After a pause, use a matter-of-fact statement such as ‘this is what I noticed, this is how it makes me feel, and this is what I need’. When talking about our feelings everyone is right.
Happiness Habits for Dating [16:29]
People are attracted to energetically happy people. But, when we are meeting new people while dating there is a lot of uncertainty and discomfort. Marc reminds us that this is why it is important we find peace within ourselves.
First dates are about collecting data about the other person. What do you think of them, not what do they think of you? Often, we are partially consumed by that distraction and it pulls us away from collecting the information we should be collecting.
Our mistakes are not who we are. We learn the way, on the way.
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