Marni welcomes the Founder of EZ Dating Coach and matchmaker extraordinaire, Mike Goldstein to the Life Check Yourself studio. Mike is a frequent guest on this show and he has been featured on the Today show and in Readers Digest. 83% of Mike’s clients enter relationships! This is the highest success rate in the country. He uses data from the top dating sites to set his clients up for dating success.
Key takeaways from this episode:
The best time to start dating online The importance of being vulnerable How you may be sabotaging yourself Trust the process Myths women have about online datingDispelling Common Online Dating Myths [2:56]
Mike reveals that the Sunday after the New Year is the best time to meet someone because people vow to find their love, online or at the gym. Marni points out that it means the online dating sites should be full of new prospects. With 57% of online daters are looking for serious relationships with a higher percentage of men saying so, it dispels the myth that men are not looking for commitment.
Marni asks Mike what gets in the way of ladies finding a quality guy online. He says there are two major obstacles women must overcome.
Women believe there are no good guys online and it's a waste of their time. Online dating is too much work and they are already busy.Yet, the data shows one out of three marriages come from online dating. It doesn't need to be a full-time job. Mike’s process requires just 30 minutes, three times a week plus one date a week.
Often, when dating, a woman is trying to be perfect. In reality, Mike says men are craving access to a woman. They want to see who a woman truly is. Women have a hard time being vulnerable and guys will start looking elsewhere because they don't feel they have access to you emotionally. Mike’s advice, describe a time you overcame one of your limiting beliefs and how you worked through it. It allows the guy to know you better.
No matter what your dating history is, you need to let your guard down.
Looking for Perfection? Stop. No One Is Perfect [12:35]
Marni describes several of her clients tend to rule guys out before giving them a chance. Instead of being curious about a guy they sabotage themselves by being nit-picky about a physical attribute or a comment.
Mike's strategy is simple — Consider how the person you are dating makes you feel. On a date and in between dates? If the answer is you feel good then continue to date the person. If the person doesn’t make you feel good, move on.
Be curious when dating rather than automatically ruling a guy out. Don't be stuck in the story that nothing works for you.
There is No Shame in Online Dating [21:48]
Mike shares that he has been rejected hundreds if not thousands of times when he offers dating advice. But he wants to help people fall in love and lower the divorce rate. So he keeps at it. He doesn’t take rejection personally and neither should you.
There is no shame in online dating. It’s a numbers game.
Do you want to fall in love? What is your goal? If you want to fall in love, do the work. Trust in the process and truly believe the universe wants you to be partnered. There is no one person that doesn't deserve love. If you get rid of the shame and use a strategy, be courageous, and commit to it you will be a success story. It's just putting the right things together into one focused effort to get a result.
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