Why is Marsau attracting disrespect from his in-laws?
https://lolaandola.com/dealing-with-in-law-issues/
We may be speaking from our traditional perspective here but nope… We’ve spent most of our lives in the west.
So we have some context.. at least some.
I do think that there is a lot of disrespect coming to Marsau from Latisha’s family. But dare I say it… he deserves it because he is attracting it.
Maybe “deserve” is a little too harsh… maybe it’s not relevant since for the most part, we don’t know what we don’t know when it comes to marriage.
What are we talking about here?
We are talking about one of our favorite shows to watch together on OWN TV; Love and Marriage: Huntsville.
It's a show in its fourth season which showcases the married life of 3 or 4 couples... one of which is Marsau and Latisha.
They’ve been married for years so they ‘kinda’ know a lot when it comes to this marriage thing.
But it almost seems...
THAT very factor is creating a blind spot for Marsau.
In-Law issues are the necessary evil that we all have to deal with as married people.
And the fact is that Marsau talks too much when it comes to his in-laws... starting with Latisha's mother.
When I talk about “game”, people always assume that we are talking about dating or pick-up artistry only.
The truth is that married men need even more game.
The higher you climb in any form of hierarchy, the more of a shit test target you become.
Marsau’s in-laws represent the first phase of Latisha’s life… development years for that matter… which means there are all types of sentimental values that he will never be fully aware of.
Alright. With that being said, let's go ahead and share 5 tips for dealing with in-laws in a way that doesn't tamper with your marriage.
Tip Number 5 Don't Save Her... She “don't” wanna be saved...
The limitations of this, of course, is a physical threat to your wife. But you don't have the capacity to proactively save her emotionally from her own family; her source.
The safest way to remotely get close to saving her in a way that puts you at an advantage as her husband is to be that shoulder to cry on
…or a safe haven she can always trust to run to when she occasionally gets burnt over there.
I don't remember if Marsau attempted to save Tisha from her cousin while beefing about her trip with Tisha's friend which she was kept out of.
That right there is a prime example allowing her to go through that on her own.
Tip Number 4 Don't feed into it.
Many at times, it's going to feel like one or a few of your in-laws come with overbearing energy.
If it's a physical attack, call the police. That should never be tolerated.
It's usually not a physical attack. As for emotional or verbal attacks directed at you, don't feed into it. Why?
Because your wife's feelings matter to you.
So at the end of the day, you need to just remove yourself temporarily because that's what's going to create the best result for you in the long run.
Maybe in the short term it feels unfair. But marriage is never supposed to be a competition... remember.
Remove yourself physically and temporarily if you ever feel the need to feed into negativity; it's not worth it.
Marsau finds himself feeding into Ms. Wanda's negativity all the time. I know... "A man is supposed to check misbehavior as they come, right? No matter who it's coming from."
Wrong! That's a short sighted way of looking at things. Some battles are just not worth the expense.
I also know that he puts on that face CAP like it’s all banter. But we can see through the bullshit.
Tip Number 3 Don't compete with them
It's going to happen... sometimes from a very subconscious place. You will feel like you're competing with your in-laws for your wife's attention.
It should never be a competition but I understand you are human like the rest of us.
She already chose you as the husband for a reason so it's best to just maintain self-respect and esteem and remain the king that you are in your own household.
Anything else is validation and approval seeking behavior.
This awareness we just hopefully created will go a long way for you in protecting your position and your family.
At this point, you are probably hearing me tell you to kill them with kindness. I didn't say that.
All I am asking you to do is to maintain your desired position with a long sighted view; be it a leader or a follower.
Tip Number 2 Don't mix in-laws with business.
In one of the episodes, we watched Tisha and Marsau evaluate a food truck business venture with Ms.Wanda.
Per Tisha's request, they were to invest in that business starting with buying and fixing this old dilapidated food truck sitting in the middle of nowhere.
This is a tricky one... and there is no absolute advice here... just a little guide.
Ideally, this type of investment should be avoided if possible.
It's better to give Ms.Wanda, your in-law, whatever you want and can afford to give her as a gift so that you don't become attached or invested in the outcome of the business venture.
It was obvious that Tisha really wanted to do this with her mother. If that’s the case, Marsau is better off giving Tisha the gift and detaching himself from the outcome for his own peace of mind.
Question of the day: Share in the comment area in one word... What do you think attachment to outcomes turns into when it comes to marriage and relationships?
Tip #1 Listen... Don't judge
So let's say Marsau follows this advice and gives Tisha the gift to invest with her mother.
From experience and analyzing a lot of cases, we know that "I told you so" moments are inevitable in the future.
As you probably already guessed, that wouldn’t be a moment for Marsau to say "I told you so."
Many times, your wife will come to you and report on how her family member offended her. Don't insert yourself and start judging them.
Just listen. Just be understanding. It's okay to be fascinated.
“Wow..” “That’s crazy.”, “Interesting..” “O ga o”.
It's okay to be interested without judging.
If you're judging her family, she may feel good about it right now.
Later on or if you are consistent enough with that behavior, she may start to feel some kind of way about it because that's her family.
You're going to become the enemy.
We are speaking from experience. In fact, we share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
Please support this video by hitting the thumbs up and sharing with us below in the comment area what you'd like us to cover in the next video.
