Marni and Chris look at the relationships and friendships that define the reality series, Love is Blind, to better understand our own behavior on the dating scene. The contestants on the series are archetypes of dating that we are prone to meet when out in the world on our quest to find love. What are the tell-tale signs of the man who’ll break your heart? Is the mysterious type so attractive? And how can you pick up on the warning signs before walking into yet another train wreck? The duo ponders over the do’s and don’ts of coupling up, and what the traits we should be looking out for by taking a deep-dive into the contestants most obnoxious and most loveable characteristics.
Takeaways from this episode:
- He’s not straightforward
- How to tell if he’s an F-boy
- Does he act the same with everyone else?
- Don’t dismiss the goofball
- What are Boomerang boys?
- How to tell if he’s actually a good listener
Are You Actually Seen or Is He Just That Good? [06:50]
We’ve all been duped by an F-boy. We know the type: when you’re with him, it almost seems like you’re the only one he has eyes for; his attention is undivided; and he knows just what to say and how to look at you. Enter Love is Blind contestant, Tom.
Tom says all the right things (on a superficial level) and looks at you in a way that makes your heart melt. He has a knack for making all the women on the series feel valued, at first glance. But is he actually giving anything of himself?
Chris argues that Tom never actually reveals anything of himself, going so far as to say that he’s actually the opposite of what the women perceive him to be. He’s the archetype of the man who knows how to make you feel seen and heard, without ever actually seeing or hearing you. What he’s said to you is most likely what he’s saying to other women in his life.
He says so little, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s a great listener. And, if he talks so little, it doesn’t mean that he’s the strong silent type. It could mean that he’s giving so little because he’s afraid to be seen. Because if you find out who he really is, you won’t like him.
Tom keeps reeling you in without ever really giving you anything of substance. Sound familiar? Then you’ve probably been with a Tom. When he makes you feel like you’re his favorite and yet it seems like everyone else around is his favorite, too, it’s time to cut him loose. Or don’t, that’s up to you. The point is, it’s an archetype we’ve run into over and over again on our dating adventures, and maybe it’s time to switch it up, and go for the nice guy.
He wants to be the most popular boy in the room.
What Kind of A Friend Is He? [20:55]
From the get-go, Will comes off as a goofball on the series, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But at first encounter, the goofy type tends to be a turn-off, or written off. However, as the series progresses, it turns out that the goofy types are sometimes also the stand-up guys. But how can you tell?
Hint: look at how he treats his friends.
Marni points out that Will is not only a good friend to the women on the show, but to his guy friends as well. He’s not someone who plays games. He’s loyal, upfront and available. Looking at someone’s behavior with the people in their environment is a good indicator of their character. Chances are if he treats the people around him with respect and value, he’ll extend that same behavior to you.
Not only do the bros like him, but all the people do. And it’s not because he’s supplicating, but he’s there for people, and he’s genuine, and he’s honest.
The contestants on the show may not all want to date Will, but they trust him and they open up to him because he’s genuine and honest. So, keep your eyes peeled for the ones who treat people well even if they don’t have all the traits that make them the “It” boys. But traits like honesty, and loyalty are the ones that get you to the finish line when it really counts.
The One Who Keep His Options Open [26:25]
What are the boomerang boys? Well, they’re the ones who have one foot in the door and one out. They’re unclear. Instead of walking away, they come back, snog you some more, and then head back out again, as put by Marni, and coined by Chris.
When discussing the concept, Marni points out that while some women may put their foot down, a vast majority will give that type of man space in the hopes that he will make up his mind. But what makes these men so irresistible?
That archetype is best exemplified in Kai and Ron. Ron, who is blind in one eye, seems to emanate confidence and ease wherever he goes. Taking something that may seem like an imperfection, he almost turns it into a strength and he does so, charismatically. It’s something in the way that he carries himself. However, that doesn’t change that, that perceived comfortability could actually be a form of cockiness where he expects that he’ll always have options. And in turn, he’s unbothered with making up his mind over who to choose.
Marni adds that he’s someone who doesn’t divulge his feelings or open up, even though he likes Lana. He’ll tell her that he’s making her a priority or speak about the spark they have between them, but hasn’t come out and said how he actually feels about her.
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