...I began practicing meditation in 1982. My perception at that time was that meditator has to stay cool all the time, like un-emotional or un-disturbable, so to speak. And if I couldn’t keep my mind still, I was taking a guilt trip. In my mind, all my meditation training was useless. This would actually pull me down emotionally. A little bit, but still every time it happened it was affirming my own faults...
