Welcome to Halloween Month, D Lovers! To kick off our inaugural October scare-tacular, Vicky, Nolan and Jill are taking on the Disney adaptation of Ray Bradbury's SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES. Set in a simpler time where young boys could run about unsupervised, carnivals never came past labor day, and shopkeepers were super SUPER horny; this movie isn't so much scary as it is confusing, dull, and generally pretty terrible. For every one scene where the main boys are attacked by spiders, there's ten where one of the boys has a heart-to-heart with his ancient father. For every scene where Jonathan Pryce's Mr. Dark glowers menacingly, there's five where the town barber is awkwardly laughing and sweating. Bottom line: the scariest thing about this movie is the prospect of ever needing to see it again.
