We learn how to use "Hell" in questions and a few expressions. Two of our guests get in a heated argument about it. This is an explicit podcast, not for the kids.
*** Transcript ***
What’s up everybody this is Keiran the crazy Canadian, and welcome to another podcast of unnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnncensored English! Where we talk about whatever the hell
We want to talk about. So good morning, good afternoon, good evening, goodnight, to however you are wherever you are, and thank you for joining us.
So we are outside the Kingston Absolute comedy club, we just performed. And tonight we’re going to be talking to you about how to use the word hell in conversation. So beside me in the front seat we have someone who most of you all know already, Gabriel O’Massi. How’s it going Gabriel?
G: Sup y’all? Yo what up? Yo word up? Bitch.
D: You’re the furthest thing from black.
K: In the back seat we have someone who’s new to the podcast, he’s another Montreal comic his name is Dylan Subiza. Dylan why don’t you just tell them about yourself, and you know what your all about?
D: I’m Dylan, I’m from DC, well DC is Washington DC for all you foreigners, uh what could I say about myself. I love long walks on the beach. I love cuddling at night, for all you lonely ladies out there
G: laughing
D: You got a friend in me like Randy Newman said, and that’s about it, I’m just an all-around great dude.
G: Cute
K: Alright great, so tonight were going to talk about how to use hell in conversation, and were going to go over a few expressions that include the word hell that you can use. But before we start that off, hell what do you guys think, is it a curse word, is it a dirty word, is it an acceptable word to use?
D: I think certainly in the 50s it was a bad word, now it’s fine, everybody uses it, it’s on NBC you know, it’s on TV nobody gives a shit.
K: Alright what do you think Gabriel.
G: I remember the first time I heard the word hell on Television was on The Simpson, and I heard it and I covered my mouth and my ears, and I looked at my mom and she looked at me and she nodded and she said “it’s ok Gabriel it’s just a word.” And ever since then I’ve been saying it every single day of my life.
K: Alright Gabriel thinks he’s still on stage apparently.
*Laughter*
K: Alright let’s talk about how do we use the word hell, what’s the most common way we use the word hell?
D: What the hell
G: Yeah what the hell?
K What the Hell, what the hell. Like what do you mean. How would you use that Dylan?
D: I’d say if someone slighted me in any way, slighted is a word means insulted or dishonored me in whatever way I’d be like “Hey, what the hell man? Why did you steal my soda? What the hell”
K: Yeah what the hell? Why did you do that?
D: Yeah what the hell dude?
K: I think you can use hell with any questions, like if Gabriel said “ Uhhh I just performed in 9 comedy clubs in 2 days uhhh” I’d be like “what? How the hell did you do that?” You know that’s impossible.
G: yeah yeah, thanks.
K: it’s not a, it’s make believe it’s not a compliment. Alright let’s do an expression with hell, what’s an expression you can use with hell?
G: Uhhhh, what was the one you guys mentioned … when hell freezes over?
D: Yeah
K: Don’t say it like we talked about it.
D: When hell freezes over is like if your mom, if your mom is like, you’re not going to drop out of school, you’re going to drop out of school when hell freezes over…. Meaning probably never.
K: Ok so if we say when hell freezes over, we mean that’s never going to happen.
D: Right, if you decide to say I’m going to do (blank) when hell freezes over, hell is super hot and it’s not going to freeze over anytime soon.
G: yeah
D: That’s like saying when Saudi Arabia freezes over. It’s not going to happen people.
K: Right, so if I was like Gabriel, Gabriel can you cut my grass.
G: and I’d be like, goddamnit yeah when hell freezes over Keiran.
K: Gabriel is not going to cut my grass.
G: Yeah I don’t do much.
*laughter*
K: Alright when hell freezes over, like no you do an example you lazy bastard.
G: I did! Oh make a real one.
D: Ok I’ll I’ll help you Gabe. Hey Gabe
G: Sure, hey.
D: You work at a bar, can I have a drink for free?
G: Uh, when when hell freezes over.
K: Alright nice! When hell freezes over. What’s another expression we can say with hell?
D : uhh…., what the hell we covered, when hell freezes over we covered.
K: Yeah what was the other one?
D: I dunno.
G: Hello
K: No
*Laughters*
K: To hell with that.
G: Oh yeah to hell with that.
G: * D: Yeah that’s a good one.
K : Alright, wait wait, hold on a second.
K: To hell with that, what does to hell with that mean Gabriel?
G: It’s like when you say something, and you don’t really agree with it…. And uh… I guess. Oh god what the fuck, what the hell.
D: It’s vacuous, it’s just an expression, whatever.
G: It’s like no. To the hell with that is like there’s no way I’ll ever do that? To hell with that.
K: Right like, Hey Gabriel let’s go up to the mountain and look at the sunset.
G: Ah yeah to hell with that, that’s stupid, that’s gay.
K : No common we can hold hands and sing songs
G: Hold hands…. Sing songs… to hell with that bullshit.
K: You can use to hell with that when you’re not interested in doing something. K Dylan can you give us an example with “to hell with that”.
D: Sure, so I’m going to ask a questions to Keiran, and Keiran is going to respond. Hey Keiran, I’m having bi-curious thoughts, would you like to help me explore those thoughs?
K: To hell with that. To hell with that my friend. I’m not up for doing this.
D: I was just asking.
K: I have nothing against it, its just not for me. To hell with that
D: Ok
G: Can I watch?
K: What? Yeah, Can you watch us not do anything… uh yes.
G: We could do it right now.
K: Might be pretty boring. What the hell. Alright what’s another expression we can do with hell
G: Uhh so there’s the bat, a bat out of hell.
K: ?. That sounds really weird, what does that mean?
G: The bat is a metaphor for who you are as an individual…
*laughter*
G: And hell is the thing, the location you want to leave.
*laughters*
D: That’s nonsense.
K: Alright what do you think, what do you think about the bat out of hell?
D: It’s just an expression. It means getting out of there fucking fast.
G: You’re the bat and then you want to leave…. Out of hell. Let’s say you’re on a date with a lady and she’s stinky, and she’s smoking cigarettes, and she’s spitting on the floor or whatever. And you’re like goddamn it I gotta get out of here like a bat out of hell you know.
D: Yeah exactly, like fast.
G: She’s hell and you’re the bat.
K: I don’t think it’s a metaphor but
G: YEAH! NO IT TOTALLY IS!
D: It’s not a metaphor, it’s just an expression.
K: Alright how would you use the bat out of hell Dylan?
D: Did you see that hockey player? He was benched, he was on the bench. Because he had a timeout for hitting someone. But when he came out back on the ice. He came out like a bat out of hell.
G: It’s a metaphor, it describes..
K: Right he came out fast and he was doing to do his shit.
D: Yeah he had a purpose and he was ready to accomplish his goals.
K: Right, don’t worry Gabriel
G: You’re personifying,
D: I think you’re reading into that. It’s not actually a metaphor.
K: Alright, fuck it, let’s go on to the last, to the last expression for tonight and what is it Gabriel?
G: Uh what was it… oh yeah it was the (blank) from hell. And when I say blank you can put any example like the mother from hell. The girlfriend from hell. The comedian from hell. Anything from hell meaning that like that person was terrible and they belong in hell because they’re so bad and so unbearable that that’s what you call them I guess.
K: Right, so like if I had a shitty care that always broke down I would be like this is the car from hell. It cost me money every week.
G: Yeah.
D: Right.
G: Yeah yeah yeah.
D: And let’s not forget the classic 1950s example, the mother-in-law from hell.
G: ahhhh bitch
K: Right she’s terrible.
D: She’s very protective of that daughter.
K: Alright guys were going to wrap this up, we talked today about different ways you can use the word hell. We started by saying you can use it in any questions like you can say “how the hell did you do that?” “Or why the hell Gabriel do you make up these examples that are not logical?”
G: How the hell are you?
K: How the hell are you doing? After that we talked about, when hell freezes over meaning.
G: There’s no way that will ever happen because hell will never freeze over because it’s really hot in hell.
K: And the one we did after that was. When hell freezes over. Meaning I’m never going to do that.
G: Crazy
K After that Gabriel came up with another expression with hel l which was
G: Wait wasn’t it to hell with that?
K: No that was mine
G: Did we do that one already? OH I did the blank from hell.
K: The blank from hell, meaning?
G: A person that lives in hell, that
K: No they don’t live in hell, a terrible person right?
*laughter*
G: Yeah a bad person the devil you know.
K: She’s the woman from hell, she’s a terrible person, she makes my life miserable.
D: Or husband.
K: Or husband, or car, or dog. IT can, it can apply to anything . It can be the shoe from hell because it always cuts my feet.
G: Yeah it’s a bad shoe.
K: Alright and lastly was Dylan’s expression which was
D: Bat out of hell.
K: Bat out of hell meaning
G: A metaphor
D: No, it’s not a metaphor, don’t listen to him people. It’s essentially it’s an expression to say, he came out of the gates swinging, he came out fast. That goalkeeper came out of the bench. Came off the bench like a bat out of hell. Came off fast and hard. I got out of there like a bat out of hell. I was very uncomfortable so I got the fuck out of there.
K: Right like the guy went up to hit on the girl, and the girl was like “ugh your so weird” and she got out of there like a bat out of hell.
G: It’s a simile.
D: It’s not a simile
G: It is cause it’s like a bat out of hell
*laughter*
*arguing*
G: It’s a simile
K: Alright these guys are going to argue later cause I gotta wrap this thing up cause I gotta type the transcript.
*arguing*
K: Shutup I gotta type the transcript for this shit, it takes an hour. So guys that’s it for the podcast. If you’ve enjoyed it rate it on itunes, subscribe to us and we’ll see you next time on the next episode of UNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNCENSORED ENGLISH!
