Did you know that the largest mountain in our solar system is called Olympus Mons, is three times the height of Mount Everest, and is located on Mars? Did you know that Mars is the second smallest planet in our solar system, and a year is 687 days but a day is only 40 minutes longer than one on Earth? These are all facts about the fourth planet from the sun that don't really have anything to do with this week's movie, but are definitely 100% more interesting than anything that happens during Disney's JOHN CARTER. Infamous for the longest development cycle in film history before finally getting made only to also become infamous for being one of Disney's biggest financial and critical flops in recent years; this movie is a strange exercise in hubris as Taylor Kitsch tries to be a movie star, Andrew Stanton tries to be a live action film director, and our hosts desperately try to piece together what this convoluted mess of a movie is about.