Episode 211: Vanessa Van Edwards - How To Be Instantly Irresistible
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"Vulnerability is sexy. There is science to prove it."
Show Notes:
Sustained Excellence = Being a people reader (not a mind reader) Try to listen to others more than anyone else Get to KNOW the person 3 Skills Decoding - Leaders who are able to read others accurately Encoding - Your ability to send accurate signals to others... What can I do to excite others? Self-Regulation The art/science of inspiring others We decide if someone is a winner or a loser... Do they feel pride or shame? If we feel pride, we take up more space, shame = less space Charisma -- How to be instantly irresistible? The most charismatic people High Warmth High Competence Must have both Lucille Ball is a great example. I Love Lucy Do you need high levels of charisma to be an effective leader? You do not need to be extroverted... Or a booming leader Quiet, contemplative types can be phenomenal leaders How to handle a room with a lot of people networking if you're an introvert? Your key in this room is to try and create 1 on 1 conversations. Play to your strengths Don't stand in the center of the room Stand at a high bar table Low light areas Conversation hacks: Sparks - The brain looks for hits, not misses "Anything good happen lately? "Working on anything exciting?" Ask soft yes/no questions... "A really skilled decoder is a better listener than anyone else" "Vulnerability is sexy. There is science to prove it." "Relatability comes down to ties." -- Saying "Oh, me too" creates a tie with that person. "You want this, I want this..." type speeches The 7 micro-expressions"The most charismatic people have: high warmth and high competence."
Social Media:
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