It looks like last week’s 100% Jodi episode left its mark. I got an overwhelming response with visits to the blog post; comments on the blog, the Facebook posts, mentions in tweets, Facebook messages, emails, women joining the private Facebook group, and my email list, etc. Thank you so much!!
What I loved was even those who let me know they didn’t express their spirituality the same way I do reached out to let me know that episode made an impact on them.
If anything the response was, “Yes! Be courageous. We love it!”
I wrote, recorded, edited and uploaded that episode on July 4th. A little ironic that it all happened on the day the U.S. celebrates Independence Day.
However, that meant I lived with what was in that episode for nine days before it dropped. I had to manage myself for over a week because although I was excited to be more open and honest about what was true for me, my ego and my inner critic was having a field day with me.
I’ve been through this before and I’ve coined this experience The Exposure Hangover.
Here’s Where The Exposure Hangover Comes From
Some of you may be able to relate to this, others maybe not. But let me take you on a journey to the past. It may have been in college or soon after. You were out for an evening with your friends.
You had a drink to kick the night off. You were having such a good time you weren’t paying attention to how many drinks you had. Everyone was having a good time and the night was going strong.
You had thoughts like, “I love my friends. They are the best.” And, “I love my new friends. We just met in the bathroom but we bonded.”
Trust is high and you say things you’ve never felt so comfortable saying before. There’s a vibe of fun and acceptance so you become a little more daring.
At some point in the night you felt your buzz starting to fade and so you had another drink. What number drink is this? Who cares, I feel great!
Bio chemically there is a lot going on in your body. One thing that is happening is your body has started to release a load of endorphins which are blocking pain and anxiety, causing you to feel great and courageous.
The night ends and you go home to sleep it off in your bed thinking this was the best night ever.
And then you wake up the next morning. And the sun is peaking through the curtains. Pain shoots through your eyeballs triggering a headache. You’re dehydrated and nauseous and every nerve ending feels exposed.
It’s all foggy at first and you’re not sure what made you feel like death.
Then images and sounds from the night before start to filter through to your consciousness. Some it might be funny at first and then…you remember.
“Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!”
You said or did something that was so risky and outside of how people know you that a jolt of fear and shame hits you like lightening.
You cringe, you moan, you want to deny it but there’s no taking it back. All you can hope for is that other people don’t make a big deal about it but they probably do.
I don’t know about you but more often than I’d like to admit my hangover was made all the more painful because I felt vulnerable to being judged, ridiculed or treated coolly.
What The Exposure Hangover Looks Like in Your Business
If you are a business owner or you are striving for promotions in your career you’ve probably had this feeling before.
In order to stand out, to be noticed and ultimately successful you have to put yourself out there.
I’ve shared this Jen Sincero quote from her book You Are a Badass at Making Money in a previous episode but it bears repeating.
“You have everything you need right now to start turning your financial reality into something that doesn’t make you wake up screaming in the middle of the night. You just have to be willing to do what it takes.
And here is what it takes: agreeing to get really, really, really, really uncomfortable over and over again.
We‘ve been raised to believe that you have to work hard to make money. And certainly there are times when this is true but the real secret is you have to take huge uncomfy risks. You have to do stuff you’ve never done before to make yourself visible, to acknowledge your own awesomeness, to risk looking stupid.”
This could potentially look like speaking up in a meeting and giving our opinion, sharing our values with the people we work with, getting real with a client, telling a personal story while giving a talk or delivering a workshop, or revealing your relationship with God on a podcast.
And here’s the thing, when you do it you might be a little nervous but you know it’s the right move. Because it’s the right move you’ve started boosting yourself up likely causing your brain to release more endorphins so your fear gets mixed with some courage.
It almost doesn’t matter how your words or actions are received, you will likely experience The Exposure Hangover later.
When the endorphins make their way out of your system the Ego kicks in and your inner critic goes insane. It will tell you that you are a fool, an idiot, and have you fearing an enormous backlash.
I want you to know if you experience this it is actually very normal and it shall pass. It is not an indication that you did the wrong thing it’s an indication that you did something new and scary and you have removed a layer of what has been limiting you.
I tell my clients there is the real you at your core and it is always there ready to be released. However, over the years you’ve taken on stories about yourself, other people and the world that inhibit you. Imagine each story is like a blanket that has been placed over your head impeding your vision and impeding other people’s perception of you.
Is it any wonder that you feel so misunderstood and disconnected from other people when you are hiding under so many blankets and they are doing the same?
Let’s change the perspective of The Exposure Hangover
Rather than relating to The Exposure Hangover as a bad thing let’s label that initial inner critic reaction as what happens when you let go of a blanket. You have been relating to that blanket as a security blanket but you don’t need that security blanket.
In a short amount of time you will have adapted to no longer having that blanket over you. You will feel lighter, your vision will be clearer and you will feel closer to the people around you.
Unlike a real hangover greasy food will not make you feel better but perhaps hydrating and sitting still for a while to integrate or allow the feelings to slowly move through you will have you feeling better in no time.
If you know you need to be more visible and more vulnerable to start gaining more success and you don’t like the idea of going it alone check out the Work With Me! page on womentakingthelead.com.
There are all sorts of ways to work with me that don’t necessarily involve a long-term private coaching package. We can find a way to work together in a way that feels right for you.
Thank you all so, so much for joining me and here’s to your success!!
Freshbooks: The all new FreshBooks makes ridiculously easy accounting software that’s completely transformed how freelancers and small business owners deal with their day-to-day paperwork. Get a 30 day, unrestricted free trial go to FreshBooks.com/lead and enter WOMEN TAKING THE LEAD in the “How Did You Hear About Us?” section.
altMBA: Seth Godin’s altMBA workshop is an intensive leadership and management workshop designed for changemakers who have a fire in the belly. This is for people who are itching to level up and make a bigger impact. Find out more at: altmba.com/womentakingthelead
Zebralove Web Solutions: Your website tells a story about your business! At Zebralove Web Solutions, Milly and her team are going to make sure your website tells the story you want your customers to hear. Connect with Milly at zebralovewebsolutions.com to create the impression you want to make!
Private Facebook Community: Chat, share and collaborate with other women in the community!
Accomplished: How to Go from Dreaming to Doing: A simple, step by step system that gives you the foundation and structure to take your goals and make them happen.
The Accomplished Community: A community of entrepreneurial Type A women uniting to achieve their biggest goals with confidence, integrity and a sense of humor.
If you enjoyed this episode subscribe in iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play Music or iHeart Radio and never miss out on inspiration and community!