First, the Agents of Change conference was awesome! I want to give a huge thank you to Rich Brooks, Amanda O’Brien, Lindsay Babayan and the whole Flyte New Media team who made this such an awesome experience. A crap-load of work goes into an event like that and they made it look easy.
Then, I got to hang out with a lot of you. The Women Taking the Lead community was in attendance at The Agents of Change. What was really fun was The Agents of Change conference happened the day after last Thursday’s 100% Jodi episode in which I introduced The Cycle of Change. Several of you came up to me to let me know you listened to the episode and it rung true for you as well. We had a lot of fun laughing about how much we resist the Toss In phase but we are looking forward to the next phase.
And for my new friends…if we met at The Agents of Change and you’ve just started to listen to Women Taking the Lead, Welcome!! If you have not yet joined the private facebook group for this podcast you can find it at facebook.com/groups/womentl/.
Last week, I introduced The Cycle of Change using the analogy of a card game as I learned it through iPEC Coaching. I gave an overview of the four phases you can find yourself, in any area of your life. I’m going to dive into each phase and I started with the phase that I was in with Women Taking the Lead, the Toss In phase.
We don’t go through The Cycle of Change once; we go through it over and over again with each cycle ending in the Toss in. The Toss In is a stage of completion and probably some bittersweet feelings as you start to accept everything that happened in the last phase and move toward emotionally detaching from it and in some cases there may be a physical separation from the environment and people who were in the last cycle with you.
So, using the card game analogy, this is when the last game comes to an end but you’re still alive and so you will continue to play one game or another. Again, it’s a continuous cycle.
Phase 1: Shuffle (Thinking and Reflecting)
The next phase, the “Shuffle” phase is a non-committal phase where you want to contemplate what was and what could be next. In the Toss In phase of non-action, the contemplating and reflecting had more to do with grieving and letting go of the past and what could have been.
In The Shuffle phase the contemplation and reflection moves toward focusing mostly on possibilities for the future.
I know myself and a lot of you will feel uncomfortable allowing for inactivity for an indefinite amount of time. But believe me, if you give yourself the space to do this you will then naturally begin to move into the part of The Shuffle phase where you begin research and network, and you will find the next thing that will re-energize and re-engage you.
When you enter The Shuffle phase you will find that you are better able to deal with the pain you began experiencing in the Toss In phase. You will also find you are better able to think on those events from the last cycle without becoming emotional. Rather, you can reframe what happened and logically process the information to find what worked and what didn’t work, giving you more expertise moving into this new cycle.
This is also the phase where you will evaluate where you are in your life. You’ll examine your core values and feelings so you can decide what is really important to you in your life and that will help you decide where you want to move next and how you want to play that game.
If you are in the beginning of this phase you’ll likely feel that you have lost control in this area of your life and that may spill over into other areas because you will second guess yourself. However, you’re also likely feeling like there’s an opportunity here for you – you just don’t know what it is yet.
This is also a phase in which you will likely experience spiritual growth because of the need to go inward and connect with something greater causing a leap in personal growth.
At the end of this phase you will have more inner strength, a plan to grow, and renewed energy. You will have a new vision for the future which will give you hope and a new purpose.
With all of this you will have more enthusiasm going into each day and will probably be breathing a sigh of relief that you can now move on and DO something.
If you allowed yourself to do the kind of work required in this phase (reflecting and researching) you will be able to focus on the right activities that will move you forward, rather than engaging in activities that are just what you think you “should” be doing.
If you find you are enthusiastic about researching, exploring new ideas, and networking and connecting with people who can move you forward in this area, you are likely well into this phase.
I mentioned in the last episode that I was definitely in the Toss In phase.
I don’t know if it’s because I had a chance to talk about on the podcast and with some of you at The Agents of Change conference, or if it’s because I’ve finally started catching up on the sleep I’ve been deprived of all summer – you guys, I slept a full 8 hours after Agents of Change and then took a nap the next afternoon. A nap - I can’t remember the last time I took a nap. I’m not known for napping.
I don’t know if it was from all of that but I can definitely feel myself in The Shuffle phase.
As I mentioned before I had already made some changes to the podcast and they felt right but I can feel myself wanting to do a deep dive again to make sure the vision I’ve had for Women Taking the Lead still excites me or if I need to dream bigger or change some of my plans.
I’ve started working with a digital strategist who just as a part of the discovery session has gotten me to think about who I am, what my gifts are, who I’m meant to serve and how I can best serve her.
I’ve also started drawing to me people who are energy workers, intuitive coaches and even mediums – here’s where the spiritual and personal growth play in.
I’ve let go of the discontent that after so much massive action in the last year things are still not exactly how I wanted them to be and I’ve moved on to dreaming about something new.
It feels good to be here and I’ll be keeping you posted on my progress.
For those of you who found your ears perking up and may nodding along as I went over The Shuffle phase here are some things that may help you now.
First, trust that everything you need to move through this phase will come to you. You don’t have to control or force it, just let it unfold and follow what interests you. Your curiosity and your interests are your north start right now.
Second, you’re starting to reach out to others. Only give your time and energy to those who want your highest good and avoid those who seem to be pushing or pulling you in a direction that doesn’t feel good or make sense to you right now. If you can sense judgment coming from them, just put some space between you and them for a while.
Third, when you’re ready to take a little bit of action, don’t overthink it. Just start somewhere. You can always pivot if your first moves aren’t giving you the information that you need.
Fourth, there may be some anxiety and you will likely find yourself coming face-to-face with beliefs or automatic ways of being from the past that make you anxious and hold you back. Confront them and challenge the truth of it.
For instance, for me an old belief that I get confronted with on occasion is the belief that if I have needs then I am burdensome and a bother to people. In this phase, that would hold me back from reaching out to others to ask them to impart their wisdom to me. Even though the reality is those with wisdom crave the opportunity to pass on what they know to those who are ready to receive it.
When I am confronted with thoughts like, “they have so much going on, I don’t want to disturb them”, or, “well that was a curt reply to my text, they must be annoyed with me”, I have to consciously let that go and trust that if I they really don’t have time for me they will kindly let me know.
Lastly, when you’re ready, begin creating goals and a plan to accomplish those goals. Then decide how and when you want to begin. Tap on those people who have your highest good at heart. They want to help in this stage because you are acting in alignment with your own highest good.
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I hope this was of value to you and here’s to your success!
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