In this week’s episode I talk with Jenn Burton on all things relating to dating again after a breakup. Jenn shares some important tips on dating so it can be done your way and on your terms so the experience can be fun and doesn’t have to filled with dread. We talk about how to know when you are ready to date again, how to begin this process, what preparations you need to complete before you start and amongst other things what your expectations should realistically be when dating a man.
Jenn’s own marriage broke up on her third year anniversary, after years of marriage counseling. Jenn came to the realization that her marriage had to be more than what she was experiencing. Love had to be more than all the trials and tribulations of a marriage. Her marriage had become all about making it all about her husband’s wants, needs and desires.
The day Jenn ended her marriage she was on her knees sobbing, praying and asking for a sign that would tell her there was more to love and life and three days latter a random request from a man who asked he out, opened her eyes that may be there was a lot more to love than she had thought.
Instead of doing what most people do after a breakup, spending time reflecting on life and grieving the ending of a relationship. Jenn felt she had done enough reflecting and want to go back into the dating world straight away. She didn’t want to be the one sitting there watching her ex-husband move on. Jenn listened to her heart and started dating straight away.
It’s very individual to know when you know you are ready to date again after a breakup. So some the relationship has been over for some time, and it’s a matter of making it official. And the preparation that you need to do before you go back into the dating scene depends on individual circumstances. For some when the relationship ends that you didn’t realise was coming, preparation is to take some time to reflect and take care of yourself. If you have decided to move forward taking self-care is the best preparation you can do.
Dating can be fun. You can feel like a teenage girl again, waiting for your first kiss, you can feel anticipation, butterflies, excitement and the magic feels so good.
Jenn has had some dating disasters in the beginning until she changed her thinking process. She would meet a man and line every thing up in her head, she would see him as her future husband before date three. Jenn would jump straight into the idea that this man would forever and never really let herself enjoy the dating process.
That’s why Jenn believes that self care and making sure your heart is not too fragile when you decide to date again is important because you can step into obsession or love sickness very easily if you start putting all your emotions and heart into something that you haven’t built any stamina for yet.
Jenn teaches women how to date multiple men at the same time, instead of giving your heart to one man right away until be has stepped up and asked for a commitment, because until they have asked for a exclusive relationship they will keep their options open.
Women are wired differently and are taught that once a man gives us any type of attention then he has our heart and we should focus all of our attention on him and shut down all our other options otherwise he will not want us. Men until they have decided that you are the one for them can’t handle your undivided romantic attention.
If you focus all your attention on them before they have decided that they want to be with you exclusively, your energy works in a way that it pushes them away, they are not that comfortable receiving that attention until they have decided that you are some one they would like to spend a considerable amount of time with.
Women can be guilty of acting a little weirdly once they give their attention to a man if he hasn’t whole-heartedly committed to them. They start to make it all about him, what’s his schedule, what is his likes, how can they hang out with his friends and we never really invite him on our journey.
There is no best way to connect with some one, however a great profile for on line dating, with well thought out good pictures is a good start. Women can meet a man anywhere, on line dating is one avenue to explore yourself romantically, and set firm boundaries on how you take care of your self and how much fun you have with men in general. It’s important to come from a place of wanting to have more fun than you have ever had before.
Jenn co-hosts a podcast called Single Smart Female, where they take questions from single females around the world about dating. The podcast attempts to shake up the statues quo for women and dating and bring something real and fun to it.
Whilst Jenn only works with women her tips for the male listeners of Breakup Recovery Podcast would be: Men can be very confused then it comes to how to treat women at times because different women want to be treated in different ways. But if men continue to be willing to ask the questions and keep that open dialogue because women change their minds and evolve.
Jenn has a special offer for the listeners of Breakup Recovery Podcast and if you go to this link: www.jennburton.com/breakuprecovery you will receive a free class on dating boundaries that makes you irresistible and unforgettable.