Many people I’ve worked with have difficulty saying no appropriately.
But, demands on our time, money and other resources can take all that we have if we allow it. Failing to use this important word leads to resentments in our relationships, over-scheduling, overwhelm, over extending, frustration and inattention to our own needs or goals.
Saying no is absolutely a required skill if you want to live and lead for impact!
Here are 3 Keys to Saying No with Ease
If you figure out your why it’s much easier to overcome. It’s almost certainly a false belief or fear of some kind. Give it a name and then make it go away! Here are a few of the main reasons I see again and again. Do you see yourself in any of them?
Ok…..I just had to spend a few extra minutes on that one. Now back to our regularly scheduled topic…..
It is much easier to say no if you are very clear about your own purpose. What main goals are you seeking to achieve? The clarity gives you a framework to use to make informed decisions about your time.
I’m very clear on the 3 main objectives I am working towards as overarching goals for my life. It makes it so much easier to say yes or no to an invitation. Whether it’s a social event or business-related request it’s fairly simple for me to evaluate it to determine whether it’s a yes or a no.
These 3 life objectives help me meet my more specific goals. Mine happen to be intertwined as well. So, I am often working towards all 3 at once, which is great! I recommend that you create a similar list.
Here are mine:
Establish and Maintain Relationships with Goal Oriented/Motivated People
Help Others Succeed
Earn Money And, money along with the design of my work, helps me to achieve some of my more specific goals.
And remember, I shared that these are overarching goals. I do have more specific goals and tasks aligned with them that help me design each day. But, the tasks or commitments of time will almost always be aligned with one or a combination of these 3 objectives.
I encourage my clients to create some ready phrases so that they are prepared with a few more comfortable ways to say no.
Regardless of how you choose to say no, here’s the trick:
Here are a few “No” phrases. Modify them to fit your own priorities and style. 1. I just can’t right now 2. I volunteer a certain number of hours per month and I’ve already made my commitments elsewhere. 3. My focus is on my family right now. 4. Sorry, but I won’t be able to help out this time. 5. My focus for the next several months is on a big career push. I won’t be able to help this time. 6. I would love to but my husband and I have made other commitments. 7. It sounds great. Not right now. Can you call me back in 6 months? 8. That is not my area of gifting. I’m really trying to put my energy where I can be my best self. 9. I’m sorry, but I need to decline. 10. No. 11. I’m sorry, it’s not a good fit for me. 12. Sorry. I’m already overextended. 13. I wouldn’t be able to give my best to that right now. 14. No thank you. I’m not interested. 15. I’ve been really overwhelmed lately so am practicing saying no. 16. That just doesn’t work for me. 17. No thank you. 18. Sounds like a great project. Let me put you in touch with someone I think would love to be involved. 19. My budget doesn’t allow for that right now. 20. I just have no time for that in my schedule right now.
Good luck!! Now go make your unique impact!