Has personal development work made you better than you were before but you are still afraid to take it to the next level? This episode will help you to get out of your own way and show up fully to your next date.
In this episode, Marni sits down with President of the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC) and host of The Meaningful Way Podcast, Luke Iorio. Luke is also an entrepreneur, a blogger, a dad, a wide-angled observer and an enthusiastic participant in the game of life. He always likes to ask and answer 'what is truly possible?’.
How Acceptance Reduces Stress [2:33]
Acceptance is the ability to embrace any situation, any moment, or any experience life happens to throw at you. Many of us have a hard time accepting things when they don’t go their way. Acceptance isn't about agreeing with or condoning what is happening, it’s about accepting the emotions you are going through.
We get triggered in two ways:
When we are not getting what we want. When we are getting something we don’t want.
Any time life doesn't meet our expectations we react to it. But there is no reason for us to make it complex. We need to have the moment and then not add any of our stories and expectations around it.
Luke says when we feel we are being triggered we should take a minute, accept what we are going through, embrace it, and then allow the energy around it to settle. Then go at the situation with clarity and peace. Fighting and resistance add extra energy which can stir things up.
Take deep, mindful breaths you have the ability to slow down your nervous system and eliminate our stress.
Strategies to Relieve Discomfort [8:17]
Luke says it’s important for us to remember that our problems are ours. If we get triggered by something it may be only us that is affected. Someone else may not respond at all to the same thing happening to them.
And, it's natural for humans to move away from discomfort. We will do anything we can to push away from anything unpleasant.
Coping mechanisms we use to move away from discomfort are:
Distraction Solving the Problem Turning a Blind Eye Grabbing onto Something Else
If you avoid accepting of the experience and try to rationalize it with a story you are settling.
Ask yourself if you are in this life to simply settle for good enough?
Weapons of Mass Distraction [24:26]
Ask yourself what is it you use to distract yourself from discomfort or something you don't want to feel. Is it social media, working too much, exercising, or wine? The problem with quieting your discomfort is that the discomfort is surfacing for a reason. Life is calling your attention to something you are meant to work through or to acknowledge.
We all have an inner teacher and when we distract ourselves we don't listen to them. Our teachers beg is to take action to achieve growth, not just think about our discomforts.
Taking action requires our ongoing mindfulness. Or, our discomfort will become an ongoing cycle that will repeat itself over and over again and show up on dates or in our relationships.
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