Bald Bryan is stepping in for Teresa to handle the news today. But before they jump into the first story, Bryan relays a story about how in order to be up to code for a building inspection later in the day, his absentee landlord had painters arrive at 7 in the morning. In their hurry to get the job done, the paint dried, thus sealing all of Bryan’s windows shut. They were back at 7:03 pounding on the door with a chisel to loosen to the paint but Bryan screamed at them to come back later in the morning. Adam says ‘you have to realize that especially in LA, painters don’t really have to know their business.’ Bryan says, ‘You think I was barking those orders in English?’ Jumping into the news, the Maxim Hot 100 is out now, and topping the list is pop star Katy Perry. Adam says, ‘Katy Perry has a nice body and a face that’s fine, but not model fine. [She’s] good from certain angles.’ This reminds Adam of the Proactive commercial she is a part of, as was his Dancing with the Stars partner Julianne Hough. Adam says that all of those acne commercials need to give us a heads up before the ‘before’ shot because it’s disgusting. Rounding out the top 3 is Brooklyn Decker at #2, and Zoe Saldana at #3. Adam disagrees with this one: ‘She’s too blue, and too skinny. Like my balls.’ Scarlett Johansson is also on the list, reminding them of Iron Man 2. Adam likes that Robert Downey has brought some humanity to the action movie, ‘but they kinda did what they do in all sequels, which is if one iron man is good, then a thousand would be better.’ He goes on to say (summarized): ‘It’s the same mistake that teenage boys make with fucking. Which is, ‘faster, harder, she’s gonna love it!’ Chicks don’t like it… what I’m saying is a little more foreplay, be secure, let it breathe a little bit.’ Other people on the Hot 100 list include Jordana Brewster from Fast and Furious, and Anna Paquin of True Blood. Adam says ‘Anna Paquin started off as a fine specimen, but as an adult, somehow the pieces didn’t come together.’ They also decide (summarized) ‘if you have an A cup and a skinny ass, you can’t be hot. There needs to be some basic criteria, just like there is for guys.’ Bryan says Playboy readers will get a 3D centerfold in the June edition, to which Adam asks ‘they are jumping the shark now, right?’ They also discuss the NASCAR Hall of Fame opening in Charlotte, the 50th Anniversary of ‘The Pill’, and the recent appointment of Elena Kagan to the Supreme Court. Adam says ‘she looks like she was beat with a menorah.’ The Weez steps in to play a round of ‘Blah Blah Blog,’ where the guys try to see if they can guess the celebrity who wrote the blog based on their inane ramblings. Bryan dominates 4 for 4, though Donny beats Adam by one in the final round. To wrap up the show, Adam takes a call from a listener ensuring everyone that the podcast will continue even if his pilot’s picked up, and a second caller asks Adam his opinion of Jack Black. Adam and Bryan compare him to Alec Baldwin, saying that both men are more comfortable in supporting roles. Ultimately Adam concludes that ‘Jack Black is not a comedian, he’s a talent. He does a lot of interesting things, makes a lot of interesting choices. But I see him more as a personality.’ Be sure to check out Bryan’s new podcast, ‘The Film Vault,’ now available on iTunes as part of the Ace Broadcasting Network.
