Today Matt and Scott welcome back Dr. David Puder, psychiatrist and host of the Psychiatry & Psychotherapy Podcast, to discuss one of Hambrick's rules -- don't date someone you wouldn't marry. Dr. Puder shares some of his "red flags" of dating and offers some practical tips for evaluating potential mates for those currently navigating the dating market.
Some of Dr. Puder's red flags include:
When I think about this person, do I already want to change them? Would I want to have my future children with this person? Or, alternatively, would I want this person to babysit my children? Could I see this person being a good father or mother? Am I feeling a pull to rescue them in some way? Am I focusing only on the positive things about them (maybe 1 positive thing) and ignoring their faults? Does this person try to control everything about them, including me? Does this person react to obstacles with anger, rage, blame, or shaming others? Does this person blame others for their mistakes, where they are in life, or the problems they face? Does this person make impulsive decisions with their money or other choices? Does this person shut down, disengage, stonewall, or emotionally distance themselves during arguments? Does this person still have emotional energy tied to past relationships? Positive or negative lingering feelings.
Do YOU have a burning question about dating and marriage? Send it to questions@barbell-logic.com and we'll answer it on a follow-up episode with Dr. Puder.
You can find Dr. Puder on Instagram @dr.davidpuder and you can listen to his podcast Psychiatry & Psychotherapy on iTunes and all other major podcast outlets.
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