First and foremost, I'm so glad you're planning for sex. Many people let this HIGH priority slip away from their marriage. And they wonder why their marriage turns into a disaster. I am GRATEFUL if you are one who puts it on your calendar--it means you DO prioritize it! So, I'm now encouraging you to go the next step and make it sexy. So often I hear from husbands that they make love the exact same way every single time they make love. And "it's even on the calendar!" Well, 1st- the good news is you're making love (!!) and 2nd- ladies, we can plan sex (just not let him in on it!) ;) Listen in for inspiring ideas on how and why to spice things up and how you can plan sex without making him feel like a To Do List item! Aka...plan it sexily!
How EXACTLY do other people even plan for sex? Planning for sex can look different for many people:
(If you're too full from dinner, you might be too sleepy for sex!)
(are you emotionally prepared to plan sex?)
But planning for sex with a "grin and bear it" mindset isn't good. It would be awesome if you planned sex with a heart filled with joy and excitement. So how do you plan sex with THAT kind of mindset?
Well, here's a story.
My husband surprised me with something special on our anniversary: a sunset cruise.
He made sure that the house was clean, the kids had a babysitter, he had flowers everywhere. Well he got the idea from SOMEONE ELSE. Was I mad that he got the idea from someone else? Of course not.
That's the same with you planning sex. Don't feel like you're not being truthful or being a phony when you plan sex. The important thing is the experience you'll both be having, not HOW you got there.
How open should you be to your husband when it comes to planning sex? It depends on where you are in your marriage, emotionally speaking.
He craves you more when you feel good about having sex. But making love is also about you; your own joy and fulfillment.
Belah's book---Delight Your Husband: A Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed.
If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage--men or women--consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! From couples that hadn't made love in years to couples who were in an affair--God has brought passion, healing and fun to these marriages!
She's currently offering this 40min Clarity Call opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here.