In this episode we’re going to talk about religious practices, faith, and religious communities. People often ask me about how they can combine their passion and commitment to parenting from a loving and respectful place with their commitment to their faith (which might be based on a type of rewards system itself!) It’s a tough but important question to answer. And this doesn’t apply to just organized religion; it’s applicable to any sort of belief system or way of life (like veganism, atheism, or any of the other “isms”).
[4:08] How do we get our children to adopt our belief system without controlling or manipulating? [6:20] Dr. Shefali shares her thoughts on religion and parenting. [11:44] Those raised in a religious home often feel obligated to “carry the torch”. [15:15] Any religion, belief, or way of life can come from a place of love or fear. [16:59] Trying to force others into our beliefs is a sign of insecurity. [18:09] Others raised in a religious home completely abandon their faith as they come of age. [19:25] It doesn’t have to be “all-or-nothing”. We can throw out what doesn’t serve us and keep what does. [23:06] Use critical thinking and discernment. [24:34] Check our motives; are we doing (or not doing) something because we’re afraid of what others might think or say? [26:22] Do our beliefs make us separatists? [27:41] Is there duality in our beliefs? [29:41] We should share our beliefs with our children and give them space to explore and make their own interpretations. [30:15] Instead of forcing, controlling, or manipulating religious activity, let’s inspire it. [33:20] Try to create positive interactions. Make the positive to negative ratio 5:1.
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Links & Resources
Gottman Institute article Show notes: www.theparentingjunkie.com/36