Middle School Teachers MUST Connect with Their Students – Here are 5 Reasons Why

Middle School Teachers MUST Connect with Their Students – Here are 5 Reasons Why

A SHIFT IN PERSPECTIVE

Recently, I’ve watched several close friends walk through devastating losses. We’re all still dealing with the fallout – grief, confusion, and trying to figure out a new normal.

As you might imagine, my heart is a bit raw and my perspective has been sharpened. I’m hugging my kids a little more often – when they’ll let me! – and my prayer life has been jump-started.

Now, as I said, my perspective has been shifted – and it’s not that I didn’t have my focus squarely centered on how to love and influence and connect with my teens. It’s just that now, there’s a renewed sense of urgency. These losses have been a poignant reminder that there are no guarantees in life, and that motivates me to, as Thoreau put it, “live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.” (And yes, I totally know that quote because of Dead Poet’s Society.)

And that ties directly into what I want to talk to you all about today.

THIS ONE’S FOR THE MIDDLE SCHOOL TEACHERS

This one is directed at you Middle School teachers out there. And while I think you probably know this intuitively, I thought it was something worthy of being spelled out.

For those of you who aren’t middle school teachers, lean in anyway. I’m assuming you’re the parent of a teen, and what I’m about to share is one way to recognize the GREAT teachers they have. When you see a teacher doing these things, take note. It means they have a passion for your child and a drive to help them become the person he or she is meant to be.

THE BIG IDEA FOR MIDDLE SCHOOL TEACHERS

Are you ready? Here it is: IT IS SUPER IMPORTANT FOR MS TEACHERS TO CONNECT WITH THEIR STUDENTS.

A Necessary Caveat

Now, before I explain what I mean by this, I have to put this caveat out there: in NO WAY am I making the claim that student grades or test score go up or down based on a connection with their teachers.

As an educator, I know all too well, that our students are not widgets or computer hard drives or any other kind of product that can be assembly-lined into existence. Kids are affected by a million different factors, many (if not most!) outside the classroom, including but not limited to: hormones, sleep quality, trauma, hunger, abuse, parenting styles, social drama, and personality. Believe me when I say that is not an exhaustive list. But it’s enough to get my point across.

However, I am still making the case that connection with students plays a major factor in some other areas. Stay with me as I share what they are.

 

It makes it more likely that students are willing to learn from you

Have you tried learning from a teacher you didn’t like? I have, and the issue wasn’t so much that I didn’t like her as it was that I felt she didn’t like me. It made it super difficult to receive any of her knowledge and wisdom without second-guessing her.

So, why not maximize the learning opportunity? When you project the right energy in your classroom, your students feel heard, respected, and valued. It can influence how they feel about you, and when they like you, they work hard to impress you and please you. Kind of like working for a good boss – you’re willing to do anything it takes because you’re part of the team.

When your energy is welcoming, accepting, and respectful, you have a better chance of inspiring your students to work hard and engage in your classroom.

In fact, in a study done in Evaluation and Research in Education, the authors note that “When students like the teacher their effort and quality of work improves.” I’m going to be sharing more from this article as I go along, so I’ve included it in my show notes if you’d like to read it.

It makes classroom management easier

Which comes first, the chicken or the egg? Or, which comes first, connecting with your students leads to appropriate behavior or appropriate behavior leads to connection?

I think it’s a little of both. At the very least, it’s a symbiotic relationship – bottom line, when they feel safe, they’re more likely to connect. What might be surprising is that if your classroom is not well-managed, it’s not only the kids struggling with the boundaries who will resist connection – it’s the quiet ones who are observing what’s happening. Those students won’t want to connect either, because they don’t trust you to provide a safe, orderly learning environment.

Having an organized, orderly classroom means that once you’ve spent the time upfront to train your students in procedures, you can begin to focus and pay attention to them as individuals – and start sharing more of yourself, when appropriate.

And, when you truly see each other, it’s easier to deal with any issues that do come up.

It opens the door for more interactive lessons

When you’ve built a relationship of trust with your students, you can take them further into your curriculum, and do more creative, interactive activities with them. Students are more willing to exert effort and try things.

In another article I found, again, there’s a link to it in the show notes, the author maintains (based on a study done in Germany) that “When students have positive relationships with their teachers, it affects how they view school and how engaged they are.”

Again, conversely, if there’s no trust, even the best students don’t feel free to take risks in your classroom

In the podcast, I’ve shared one way I was able to do this, so make sure you tune in if you’d like an example.

It’s the only way you’re going to impact them the way you want to

You want to have a positive impact, and you can’t do that without connection – no connection means they won’t remember the things you want them to walk out of your classroom knowing, or they’ll remember you for the wrong reasons.

You want to be the grownup they remember – that one teacher who’s thanked from the Oscars stage or has a book dedicated in your honor. (Okay, that’s tongue-in-cheek, but I think we all harbor secret teacher-fantasies along those lines!)

Now, I think this is a good place to mention that there are occasions when a negative teacher-student connection can result in a positive academic outcome – I would say this probably happens the most with the contrarians out there. You know the situation – where a kid dislikes a teacher so much that they set out to prove that they can do anything that’s thrown at them. However, I think those cases are the exception and not the rule.

You want to connect so you don’t miss out

You’re going to have some amazing students – if you don’t connect, you’ll miss all the goodness that’s there, and the opportunity to speak into their lives.

You have to earn the right to do that, and that means investing in connection. And, I have to say that when you’re not intentional about connection, it can make your days in the classroom less fulfilling.

Because teaching without connection makes it a job and not a calling.

Okay, to recap, here are the reasons it’s super-important for middle school teachers to connect with their students:

It makes it more likely that students are willing to learn from you It makes classroom management easier It opens the door for more interactive lessons It’s the only way you’re going to impact them the way you want to You want to connect so you don’t miss out

THE HONEYMOON’S OVER

Okay, I’d love to know if – and how – you’re connecting with your students! We’re well into the school year now (can you even BELIEVE it’s October??) and you’re well past the honeymoon period of the school year – so how’s it going?

Head to my show notes to find all my socials, and connect with me.

And if you are a middle school teacher, I would love for you to join my private FB group, Start Strong in the Middle, a community of teachers just like you (especially you newbies!)

Until next time, from and Ish Girl who is so thankful for all the teachers who took the time to connect with me – Mrs. Rao, Madame Gaston, Ms. Narcisse, Mrs. King, and many more, I'm glad we're all in the middle of it together.

For resources mentioned in this episode, head to theishgirl.com/ep60