12: Tantrums are precious opportunities. With Karen Young

Do you ever feel at a loss when your child is throwing a tantrum? Listen in for some helpful strategies. 

 

Thrilled to be bringing you Karen Young, back today. We met online a few years ago when she was part of the very first Be the Best parent You Can Be interview series. She runs the very informative website, Hey Sigmund: Where the Science of Psychology Meets the Art of Being Human. For the full introduction episode please refer to episode 07

 

What we talked about: What exactly are tantrums and why it’s important for us to understand them so we can be our children’s anchor? Big feeling and the role of the amygdala A tantrum is a normal reaction to the brain in overwhelm The pre-frontal cortex, the reasoning part of the brain does not fully develop until 24 Tantrums are normal and are in no way a reflection of your parenting or whether your child is ‘good or bad’.  How to lend them your calm to help them register safety. Every time they have a tantrum it is a precious opportunity for us to strengthen their brain in terms of self-control.  Validate be warm and wait until they are calm. The magic happens when they are calm.  The words you need to use when you feel you are being judged for wanting to parent with respect.    Things to Remember:

"Discipline was never meant to hurt." - Karen Young 

"Children are not meant to ‘control’ big feelings." - Karen Young

"Stay calm and ride it out."  - Karen Young

"We are wired for touch and feel safest when we are close to our important big people."  - Karen Young

"Big feelings are a way to recruit support."  - Karen Young

 

Click here for Show Notes and more from Jeanne-Marie, Your Parenting Mentor.