Hi friend! Do your kids ever get angry or throw tantrums? Do YOU ever get triggered by their tantrums and lose it?
🙋🏻‍♀️I do. We all do.
In this episode you’ll get to hear from the amazing Renee Jain of GoZen as we discuss how to “handle” emotions in both our children AND in ourselves.
[05:37] What is GoZen in a nutshell?
[09:20] We have to make peace with the idea that stress and difficulties are a part of our humanity.
[09:42] Feelings aren't good or bad. They're neutral.
[11:24] Create a character (a name) for each emotion (such as “Fury” for anger).
[14:30] Emotions come and go. They're not permanent.
[14:44] We need to have a relationship with the [seemingly negative] emotion and see the upsides.
[19:23] Anger/fury usually pops up for protection, or when boundaries have been crossed.
[22:10] Don't try to teach your children things "in the moment."
[22:48] We need to model what it looks like and stop trying to control our children’s emotions.
[27:28] In those moments, try putting on your detective hat.
[31:24] Play is so important, even when they're throwing angry tantrums.
[32:51] Progress should be measured in years, not days.
[34:44] Practice or role play (outside of the moment) to teach them how they can respond differently when they're in the moment.
[41:21] It's a marathon, not a sprint.
[44:52] We can't be afraid of feelings and try to always suppress and control them.
[48:26] Get a stuffed animal for each of the 4 main emotions and use them for role play.
The work never really ends, but if we’ll remember that progress is measured in years and not days, that it’s a marathon and not a sprint, and implement some of the tips that Renee mentions, we’ll start to see some lasting change in ourselves and in our children.
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Resources:
Go Zen's Website Go Zen’s Masterclass Dear Anxiety Podcast Episode Show Notes