The gift of a medium such as dancing, tango, in particular, is that one can learn parameters of safe and sensual touch within precise structural, socially sanctioned guidelines. This learning includes differentiating between sensual touch and sexual touch. One is able to experience at a visceral level what it feels like to be close in a supportive, sensual engagement without misinterpreting the contact or intent as sexual.
In a society that is touch starved, with a deep need for physical connection but with few models other than unhealthy ones, this learning is to be treasured. It probably took me close to 5 years to be convinced that the close embrace which includes a woman putting her chest against mine was not a sexual overture. It does however, communicate trust, responsiveness and presence. As do many other variables, including hand placement on the back, cheek to cheek. Yes, these may indicate affection but only within the context of the dance.
Trauma therapists emphasize the need for somatic experience as the basis for healing. Memories are stored in the body and the body needs to displace the negative experiences with a relearning, and positive ones. Work needs to be body-based. At the same time the journey does not end with dissipating the trauma but with displacing the perverted experience of abuse with an expansive healthy understanding and awareness of the layers and nuances to intimate, nurturing sensual self-expression and consensual touch, subject to subject.
In fact, it is because tango straddles the razor thin edge between sexualizing and sensualizing that every dancer is confronted with the choice between lapsing into cultural patterns of seduction and dominance or sharing the power in creative expression. As a lead I am continually listening to the responsiveness of my partner and fashioning my dance and lead accordingly. I sense her timing, her interest in certain moves, her emotional investment in the dance, her interest in embellishments.
The fabulous learning goes far beyond the dance floor. I learn how to be comfortable around others in all sorts of settings. My learning in tango has taught me first to be comfortable with physical contact but more so, intuit who is comfortable or not so with. says: Aydan Dunnigan-Vickruck
Valeria interviews Aydan on Healing, Sensuality, and Spirituality.
Aydan Dunnigan-Vickruck is a former Lutheran minister, with a Masters's degree in theology. He has been tango dancing for 18 years. Currently hosts and teaches at a weekly milonga.
Aydan is the author of Trauma to Tango: Dancing Through The Shadows Of Sexual Abuse.
A weekly blogger at www.dancingwithpresence.com, exploring the connection between sensuality and spirituality, dance and divine presence.
He is in the process of writing a book on The Nature of Consent, focusing on "the anatomy of connection: how to become aware of, in our bodies, the feeling of being in deep connection with another.
Aydan Dunnigan-Vickruck lives in Edmonton alberta, Canada. He is a Mental health Social worker and married of 25 years with “accumulated” lineage of 8 children and 18 grandchildren.
To learn more about Aydan Dunnigan-Vickruck please visit his website: www.dancingwithpresence.com
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Podcast Page: https://fitforjoy.org/podcast
** Bio intro and outro one by Heidi Lynn Peters.
