There seems to be some confusion in our culture between criticism and critique. While criticism can be unhelpful and hurtful, critique is necessary to help us grow, develop, and make wise choices. It’s how things improve!
You’ve probably heard the saying “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” I sometimes get feedback like this when I talk about school or issues in parenting. And I agree! We should always be kind. But perhaps we need to redefine what's "nice."
In this episode I want to discuss the differences between criticism and critique, and how I think critique is necessary and helpful.
[02:24] What design school taught me about criticism.
[05:47] It can be helpful to de-personalize critiques & criticism.
[06:59] We shouldn't say something if it isn't nice, but perhaps we need to redefine what's "nice."
[07:50] We need to be able to discuss the merits and the downsides of various things.
[08:39] Before you speak, ask yourself if what you are going to say is true, is kind, is necessary, is helpful. If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.” -Bernard Meltzer
[09:38] Differences between criticism and critique.
[13:49] Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. -Dalai Lama
[13:54] It's possible to point out things that need to be changed or improved without being unkind.
[14:42] We need to be less fragile, and handle critique.
[16:01] We don't have to shut down conversations just because there's critique involved.
[16:42] The ability to critique is an incredible skill to have.
[18:38] Critique is how we learn & grow, and it's a sign of maturity.
Critique is something we all need to be open to hearing, and open to giving. It’s a skill we can develop, and can greatly enhance our lives and the lives of our children.
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