STRESS, STRESS, AND DID I MENTION STRESS?
I don’t know about you guys, but this has been a week full of stress. If I never saw another political add again, I wouldn’t cry, know what I’m sayin’? Between staying up too late on election night, and now waiting on pins and needles to see what’s going to happen next, I feel like I’ve had a constant adrenaline buzz.
That’s what I’m talking about today. Stress. Because this has been the year of 1,000 papercuts. Not only are we navigating the normal stress that comes with life: our families, our jobs, our responsibilities; we’re also dealing with COVID and social justice issues and a presidential election.
ARE YOU A TEACHER EXPERIENCING STRESS? THIS ONE’S FOR YOUSo, I wanted to take a minute to talk specifically to teachers. Because you have been impacted by all of the above in ways that those of us not in the classroom have not. And I’m curious – first I was going to ask “are you stressed?” but that’s a ridiculous question. Of course, you are! So instead, I’ll ask this: what are the stresses you’re facing in your classroom right now?
It’s no secret that teacher stress is at an epidemic level. And research shows that most teachers place student behaviors, performance assessment, and time management at the top of the list when it comes to stressors.
The one I want to tackle today is student behavior.
If you’ve found yourself wishing your students would behave so you can do your job, this episode is for you.
STRESS, STIMULI, AND CHOICES“Stressors” are things that “cause” stress. Can also be referred to as “stimuli”
So, negative behaviors can be a “stimulus” that causes stress.
Viktor Frankl is quoted as saying “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
While you may not feel like you have a choice when pushed by a stimulus, you do.
WHY IS THAT SPACE IMPORTANT? For your own emotional well-beingStress can have a tremendous impact on your body. I know this first-hand – I’ve shared about my very serious heart attack scare with you before – if you want to hear about it, you can check out Episode 98.
For the well-being and performance of your studentsEducational experts believe that your stress can even impact your students’ performance. Think about it - it can become a vicious cycle – you’re stressed by negative student behavior, which affects your engagement level, which affects students’ engagement level, which can lead to negative student behavior, and you’re right back at the beginning.
That’s part of the reason I had my good friend Kellye share her Zoom Busters with us in episodes 96, 97, 98, & 99 – to give us some actionable strategies to lower stress in our classrooms. You can find links to all these episodes in the Referenced in this Episode section below.
MENTORING VS. MANAGINGSome of the research I read described teacher work stress as “negative emotional experience being triggered by the teacher's perception that their work situation constituted a threat to their self-esteem or well-being. In this understanding, a student's problem behavior represents a stimulus from the environment that is not stressful per-se for teachers. However, it becomes a stressor if teachers perceive it as causing a discrepancy between a demand and their ability to cope with this demand.”
In other words, the studentS' behavior isn’t the stress. The stress comes from your wondering about your ability to cope with or “manage” it. And no one wants to be “managed.” There’s a bit of inherent condescension in that.
We must remember our teens aren’t meant to be “managed”. As true mentors, we “lead” them. As Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper pointed out, “You manage things, you lead people.”
OUR TEENS NEED MENTORSTeens need adults in their lives to be their mentors. Part of that is owning our responses. You might just find that changing your behavior, changes theirs too.
Need help?
I’m putting together a workshop to help you transform from teaching to becoming a meaningful mentor to your students. Interested? You can join the waitlist here.