Legend has it every three years, Danielle and Valeah will return to Your Stupid Minds to review a middling Christmas movie. That legend has been fulfilled for Netflix’s The Knight Before Christmas, starring Vanessa Hudgens and some British guy. Featuring special guests, as previously mentioned, Valeah and Danielle.
Brooke (Hudgens) is a schoolteacher in small town Ohio who recently suffered a mild breakup that hasn’t really affected her at all, is ambivalent but not hostile toward Christmas, and has dead parents that are barely mentioned. When she hits a mentally unwell person with her car, she decides to take him home to her mansion and let him stay in her 1,500 square foot guest house. Never mind the man (Josh Whitehouse) is wearing full knight regalia, goes by “Sir Cole” (or “Circle” if you say it fast enough) and talks like a RenFest role-player. He’s cute.
As it turns out, Circle is actually a medieval knight, transported to the pre-COVID 21st century by an old crone in the woods to fulfill his quest of becoming a true knight. What is that quest? The crone isn’t clear. Hopefully it involves learning to drive a car, catching and eating a skunk, called Mrs. Claus an old crone, or putting an Amazon Echo into a freezer, because that’s what he does.