We’re going after the BIG question of “How do you stick with a dream?” This is one of the most common questions we get at LIVE events and as people are using our “Dream Together” app. It’s totally understandable. They get excited about a new dream… but then the fear starts to creep in. They start to wonder if they can stay with it and achieve their goals. So the dream gets shut down before they even get started. Well, in this episode, we dive into 3 powerful strategies in 15 minutes. These concepts will help you START and STICK with it! Let’s do this!
RESOURCES:
3 Things I’ve learned from 250 Episodes of DREAM THINK DO: https://mitchmatthews.com/250/
Forged By Adversity - with Navy Seal Chad Williams: www.mitchmatthews.com/295
Post Traumatic GROWTH: www.MitchMatthews.com/172
Antonio Neves: “STOP LIVING ON AUTOPILOT.” www.MitchMatthews.com/307
THE “DREAM TOGETHER” APP IS HERE!
It’s designed to help you clarify your goals as well as connect with others so you can “dream together” to make those dreams (big or small) a reality!
So… HERE ARE THE STEPS:
STEP 1: Download the app. Find “Dream Together” for your Apple Device: HERE Find “Dream Together” for your Android Device: HERE STEP 2: Sign up and enter the group code: dreamthinkdo STEP 3: Be inspired by the dreams that are already there. Then… follow and encourage a dream or two! STEP 4: Post at least one of your own dreams… and then invite friends to join you so you can DREAM TOGETHER!QUOTES:
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the
seed of an equal or greater benefit.” – Napoleon Hill
“Show me someone who has done something worthwhile,
and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity.” – Lou Holtz
“Truth 1: Adversity is going to come…
And Truth 2: You’re tougher than you think!” - Mitch Matthews
“Adversity causes some people to break; others to break records.” – William Arthur Ward
“The most successful people see adversity not as a stumbling block, but as a stepping-stone to greatness.” – Shawn Anchor
Post-Traumatic GROWTH:
“A positive psychological change experienced as the result of adversity leading to
a higher level of functioning.”
PRE-Traumatic Growth - Definition
“Positive psychological changes leading to more focus, energy, engagement and joy in the face of life’s challenges.
MINUTE BY MINUTE:
0:02 What to expect today 1:06 Download the Dream Together App! 2:10 Today’s Question: How do I commit to a dream? 4:39 The magic of learning something new 5:56 Decide to do it! But…adversity may arise. 11:11 Learning from others' stories 12:54 The power in finishing 14:47 Do the math: Go after small winsMORE ABOUT THE EPISODE (TRANSCRIPT):
All right. DREAM THINK DOer, like I said, this is a part of our Dream Together series. So we're going after big questions, questions that we've gotten at our live events over the years and questions that we get as people are using our Dream Together app to go after new dreams, new goals. The one we're going after today is something that so often happens. It's something that can kind of bubble up. I can remember at so many different live events, people would step to the mic at the end of the event to do this Q&A, and they would ask a version of this question: How can I stick with a dream? And you could feel all the emotions that were tied to a question like this. Sometimes it was fear, sometimes it was weariness, but you can also feel these elements of hope, sometimes excitement, sometimes life, because people had gotten clear on a new dream or maybe unearthed, kind of helped and remembered a very dream.
And now they're asking this question of how do I know I'm going to stick with it? You could tell they didn't want to waste time. They didn't want to look silly. At the same time, they were also maybe feeling a little childlike wonder, giving themselves that permission to ask, what if? That feeling of life that starts to happen when we start to recognize a new dream or an old goal that might be percolating to the top. Right? And if you've had that question, how do I know I'm going to stick with it? How can I stick with it? I want to give you three strategies to help some concepts that you'll be able to apply immediately.
All right. So let's get to this. Truth number one, strategy number one is be willing to be a novice. That's right. Give yourself permission to be new at something. Now, we talked a little bit about this in episode 250. It's something I've had to learn, and it's something that I know a lot of you have had to learn. Here's the thing. With DREAM THINK DO, we've got a lot of people that listen, obviously, a lot of successful people. And success is fantastic, it's awesome, right? But success can also be dangerous because if we're successful in one area, it can also make us start to be scared to be a novice in another area. Right? It's one of those things where a success is wonderful.
But when it starts to make us kind of limit ourselves, to start not allowing ourselves to try new things, to go and learn new things because we don't want to look new, we don't want to look like a beginner, but isn't it amazing? I mean, when you think about it, when you've given yourself the chance to learn something new, hasn't there been magic in that? Maybe that whole thing of not having to be great at something? Kind of feels like freedom to be able to explore something with relatively no expectations other than to learn. Right? That's what we're talking about, to be able to say, "Hey, I want to learn as I go." Because if we give ourselves that permission, there's really no failure. Because as long as we're learning, as long as we're moving forward, there's no failure.
And I know for me, with some of the different businesses that we have launched, sometimes some of our attempts, some of our experiments have gone down in flames. But when I look back, I also realize that's when we've learned the most, whether it's learning the most about what we need to be doing or learning the most about ourselves. And so it's one of those things to be able to say, hey, give yourself that permission to be a novice, to learn something new, try something different. It's what brings a lot of magic to life. It's also what allows us to pursue and stick with those new dreams and goals. Right? So give yourself that permission. Be a novice once in a while. All right.
Truth number two, strategy number two is decide to do it and know that adversity is part of the ride. Now you might be like, "All right, Mr. Good News." Right? To be able to talk right out of the gate about adversity. But I think it's something we have to talk about, and that's something we do with DREAM THINK DO. Right? We operate in truth. We speak to the hard truth of things. And I think if you're a DREAM THINK DOer, you appreciate that. And I know this sounds simple, but it's easy I think for people, when they start to experience adversity, to say, "Oh, I must be doing something wrong. Oh, I must not be supposed to do this." Right? But here's the thing is, when we start to realize adversity can also be a sign that we're onto something big, sometimes that helps us to flip the script.
I love what Chad Williams said in episode 295. You may remember, but Chad is a retired Navy SEAL, and the Navy SEALs are these elite fighting force for the United States, and in many ways they're the best of the best. But they had truly flipped the script on adversity. They've started to appreciate adversity. In fact, one of their main mottos, one of their creeds for a SEAL is forged by adversity. They celebrate it. They know it's coming. And instead of just trying to avoid it at all costs, they know that it makes them stronger, not in some kind of misogynistic way or masochistic way, all that, but they actually understand that adversity makes them strong. And if we're going to be honest, adversity also is sometimes what makes life rich. I love what Napoleon Hill said on this point. He said, "Every adversity, every failure, every heartache, carries with it a seed of equal or greater benefit." One of the greatest coaches of all time, Lou Holtz said, "Show me someone who has done something worthwhile and I will show you someone who has overcome adversity."
So going after our dreams and goals, we know that we're going to face some adversity, adversity is going to come, but also want to encourage you that you are tougher than you think. You are stronger than you think, and I think we need to be reminded of that as well. Right? The topic of grit, the topic of resiliency is a very popular topic right now, and that's good. Right? And I know that sometimes it's easy to look at someone and say, "Oh, that person's really resilient." Maybe it's a World War II survivor, or somebody that's done something huge, and maybe they're further along in their life, and you look at that person, you go, "Man, that person is resilient." They don't have to necessarily be a Navy SEAL, but you can look at that and go, "Gosh, am I that resilient?" And it's one of those things where all of a sudden comparison can start to come in, especially on this topic and say, "Gosh, am I as resilient as filling the blank?"
And that's why I personally like this term called micro-resiliency. Micro-resiliency, and those are small daily choices to stick, small but significant choices to stay with it. Micro-resiliency literally is being able to choose day to day, minute by minute, to be just a little bit more resilient. I love this quote from William Arthur Ward. It says, "Adversity causes some people to break, but others, it causes them to break records." Come on. And it's one of those things where resiliency, and more specifically, micro-resiliency... Not say or try to weigh whether you're resilient or not, but to say, "I'm going to try my best to be resilient in this moment." Well, that can make all the difference. It also helps to understand some of the fields of research when it comes to positive psychology on this front.
One of the things that's bubbled up is something called post-traumatic growth, which is a positive, psychological change experienced as the result of adversity leading, to a higher level of functioning. Post-traumatic growth. Now we know trauma can be brutal, right? And I'm definitely not trying to dismiss that at all, but it's one of those things where we can also say when we look back on a lot of the challenges. I know that that's also oftentimes some of the most rich times in our life, or at least it produces tremendous fruit. Now here's the thing though... And by the way, we go after post-traumatic growth, that concept, in-depth in episode 172, and I'll include all these show notes in this particular episode, so you can go back and check out those in more depth if you want to.
But as I dug into this concept of post-traumatic growth, later I realized there's also something called pre-traumatic growth, which sounds pretty good. And what that is, is that is actually learning from other people's adversity. Pre-traumatic growth, and what that is, if you want to flip that definition a little bit, pre-traumatic growth is positive psychological changes, leading to more focused energy engagement and joy by learning from other people's stories and strategies of facing adversity. Now, I like that, and that's probably one of the big reasons why you listen to DREAM THINK DO, is you're willing to actually lean into a little pre-traumatic growth, to be able to say, "Hey, I know adversity is going to come. That's life. That's also what happens when you pursue dreams. So I want to learn from other people's adversity. I want to learn from other people's stories."
Because I'm guessing that as you've learned from some of the episodes that you've heard, some of the interviews that you've heard, some of the stories that you've heard, that you can say, "Hey, gosh, I haven't faced that particular adversity, but I can learn from her story. I can learn from his story," and that's what we want to do. So I just want to encourage you to say, "Hey, I'm going to go after this. I'm going to decide to go after this. I know that adversity is going to come. That's a part of life. That's what in many ways makes life rich. And I am going to learn from others. I'm going to learn from my own adversity, but I'm also going to learn from others." And that's why I want to commend you for listening, listening to DREAM THINK DO, investing in yourself and growing. So that's tip number two.
Now tip number three, truth number three, strategy number three is going to bring us home, and that is simply to finish something. I know it sounds so simple, but it is so powerful. My friend and pastor and DREAM THINK DO guest, Antonio Neves, just wrote a book called Stop Living on Autopilot. I talked with him in-depth about it in episode 307. And I got to tell you, Antonio was just interviewed on The Today Show, and he killed it. He absolutely killed it. They were talking with him about this book. And one of the subjects that came up when it comes to not living on autopilot anymore, not living on cruise control anymore, is he spoke to the power of finishing something. Again, the field of positive psychology tells us over and over that regular ongoing achievement leads to higher levels of competence and higher levels of joy.
Now we're talking about small wins on a regular basis, right? But we also know as DREAM THINK DOers that a job left undone, gosh, there is nothing more draining than a job left undone. Right? Now, what I love about this concept, the concept of finishing something is... Antonio digs into this concept in-depth in his book, and again, the book is called Stop Living on Autopilot. You're going to want to check it out. But he makes the point that finishing something doesn't have to be big things all the time. You don't have to finish the Mona Lisa. You don't have to write the next greatest American novel to finish something, to have that feeling. It can really be small wins. And when we're going after a new goal, a new dream, that's what we're looking for is the small steps that you can take and take them over time. Celebrate those wins.
So if you're needing to learn something new, search for a TED Talk on that subject and celebrate watching a kick-butt 18-minute presentation on the subject as opposed to getting lost in your social media feed. Or if you want to expand your network, reach out and do a coffee, a virtual coffee or a real coffee with someone and celebrate taking 30 minutes to connect with someone that inspires you. Don't beat yourself up for not having the whole thing done. Celebrate, finish that small, but significant step. Maybe if your goal is to get in shape, don't beat yourself up for not being able to run a marathon yet, but get out there and spend 20 minutes walking around your neighborhood and enjoy the simplicity of soaking up some sun and actually feel that accomplishment. Or maybe if you're wanting to write a book. I know a lot of people using the Dream Together app, that's one of the big goals that's out there, right? They want to write a book. And maybe you're beating yourself up for not finishing the book yet.
Here's what I want to do is I want to encourage you, go after those small wins. Think about this, just do the math. If you just write three pages a day and celebrate that, finish three pages a day over the course of a hundred days, that's just a third or a little less than a third of the year, you'll have 300 pages. That's pretty amazing. And it's one of those things that you could be celebrating those wins, those mini goals, and finish those along the way. And like we said, when you finish something, it increases our sense of happiness, our sense of confidence and our ability to be resilient. And that's what I want for you. Those are three keys to sticking with it.
Number one, be willing to be a novice, give yourself permission to start something and be new at it. Enjoy that. Number two, decide to do it and know that adversity is going to be a part of the ride. It's a part of the journey. It's something that makes it rich. And number three, finish something. Give yourself permission to finish something. Small wins along the way will make the journey so much better, and it'll also help to bring joy, confidence, strength, and resiliency as you do. Those are the three strategies, three keys, three truths.
And I want to hear from you. What do you think? Plus, I want to hear from you, what's something that helps you stick? All right. Let me know. You can go to mitchmatthews.com\320. That's where we'll include links to all the show notes, as well as all the episodes I mentioned, some other resources to be able to dig into, all of that. Plus you can leave a comment and I do want to hear from you, what's something that helps you stick? Or what's a way that you're going to try one of these truths, one of these strategies today? I want to hear from you. Let me know, again, at mitchmatthews.com/320.
Now I'm going to give you one last bonus, one last tip, and that is don't do it alone. Okay? That's our fourth truth, and maybe even the most important. We're going to keep it short though, because what I can do is to say, "Hey, don't go after that dream by yourself, dream together." Now that's a little bit of a pitch to get you over to download our app called Dream Together. If you're not already there, it's going to be something that's going to allow you to write down some of your dreams, capture some of those dreams, get clear on some of those dreams, but also to not do it alone. You'll be able to dream together with other like-minded people.
So download the app, it's called Dream Together, and when it asks you to create the profile, it's going to ask you for a code. Go ahead and plug in DREAMTHINKDO, make it one word, and that's going to allow you to dream together with other DREAM THINK DO listeners, other like-minded people that are going after their dreams, people that want to dream bigger, think better and do more of what they were put on the planet to do, and they want to see you do that too. So go ahead and download the app and join us because hey, that fourth truth is so, so true. Don't do it alone. Remember to dream together.
All right. That's it for this episode. I think I did go a little over our 15-minute goal, but hey, hopefully, you got a little grace because that's important too as we walk out our dreams and goals together. Have a little grace for each other and it makes it so much sweeter. All right. Hey, we've got some amazing episodes coming your way, some incredible interviews, some additional deep dives and more in our Dream Together series. But until we connect again, please keep bringing your awesome because the world, it needs more of it. Talk soon.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!:
Leave a comment and let me know what YOU think! How do you stay resilient? What are some things that you do to STICK with a dream. I’d love to hear YOUR thoughts!
Leave a comment and let me know!
