This episode is about calming an anxious or hypervigilant mind. Today’s caller, Demi, has a pattern of obsessive-compulsive thinking, anxiety, and a worst-case scenario mindset. She would like guidance on how to calm her mind and be more compassionate with herself. It is a very human trait to worry and have anxiety, especially for people who grew up in a chaotic home.
[For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode292]
One of the ways we can deal with hypervigilance or anxiety is by witnessing it. It is important we do our best not to make it wrong and accept it. The moment we realize it is not us, the moment we recognize it as OCD, our inner critic, or when we can name it, it gives us a sense of control. It makes it feel as if it is not a runaway train. That’s how we begin to calm down.
The pattern of not being able to relax but also feeling like you are not doing enough is caused by the emotion underneath the hypervigilance we don’t want to feel. And, with hypervigilance comes increased sensitivity. Increased sensitivity usually means more connection to intuition, compassion, and empathy.
People who grew up in a chaotic home may have a hard time relaxing because often, that was the calm before the storm. Having an emotional release with no judgment is an important part of working with this.
If you know someone who isn’t able to calm down or “just not think” about something it is important to have sensitivity and compassion for them because it can be maddening for the person dealing with anxiety or OCD to be told to calm down when the pattern is playing out.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
Do you tend to have an overactive brain? Do you struggle with indecision and a pattern of you feel like you can never do enough? Do you deal with FOMO or “shoulding” all over yourself? Do you have a strong intuition but either don’t listen to it or question yourself?
Demi’s Question:
Demi has struggled with overthinking and FOMO since her teen years and would like guidance on how to calm herself.
Demi’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She feels like she is not doing enough. Her mind gets loud, and she overanalyzes everything. She suffers from anxiety. There was instability in her childhood home. Her parents had a chaotic relationship. She recently started therapy. She has studied Somatic therapy. She loves herself.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Become aware of her inner critic and accept it with compassion. Forgive herself for being hard on herself. Practice release writing. Realize she is not her thoughts. Get out of her mind by shaking her body or breathing to move her energy around.
Takeaways:
If you have people in your life who tell you to calm down or to not think about something, do your best to have boundaries about it. The moment you notice a pattern starting, separate yourself from it. Don’t judge it. Notice it, then love it and accept it. Use physical calming techniques to move the energy around in the body.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
@ChristineHassler on Instagram
@SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
Assist@ChristineHassler.com
Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services.
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