Everyone is getting very swish with the tech these days, as we spend more and more hours in online meetings. Consequently, we are more and more likely to find ourselves in a breakout room to discuss a topic. When we first started doing this March 2020, as we ran our first LIVE On Line training, we discovered some disconcerting things about the medium. In many cases they were disparate individuals from different companies and also sometimes disparate individuals from different sections of the same firm. Initially, we found sending people who didn’t already know each other into breakout rooms perplexed them. For the breakout room captives, there was no hierarchy, no psychological safety and no trust. Many times, three people in a breakout room would just sit there for three minutes and say absolutely nothing to each other.
We learnt we had to set up some social order and ground rules for them. We needed to tell them that a certain person will be in charge of the reporting for the group. That person will keep a record of the points raised and we also nominated another person to lead the discussion to create the points. This left everyone else to be a contributor, with the expectation they would do just that and respond to the leader’s request for their opinion.
We also found that groups were unclear about the exact point they were discussing. We may have believed we explained it perfectly well, but often they were not sure what to talk about. Part of the reason was that when they heard they were going into a breakout room with strangers, their minds stopped listening to the instructions. Now they were focused on who would be in the group, how would they be perceived by strangers and how would they be judged for what they said in a public arena. With all of this front and center in their minds, the details of the question had receded into the background.
So we asked for a green check or a show of hands, around who understood what was happening. We would then call on some of those people to tell us the protocol for the breakout room and repeat back the question or issue they were going to discuss.
The third thing we found was that we had to enter each room and just check that there were no questions. If there were none, then we would leave them to it and move to the next room to check. Surprisingly, even with all of this formatting going on, we would still enter a room to hear stone cold silence, with no one playing their designated leader role. If this was the case, we would become the leader and get the conversation going amongst the participants.
I thought this was just Japan, but lately I have joined a study programme run by a global online education organisation. We were sent off to breakout rooms and it became obvious that most of the people participating from all around the world, really hadn’t a clue how to interact in that situation. Part of it is language, as English was not the mother tongue FOR some of the participants. However, many of the factors which applied in Japan were also in evidence around shyness, lack of hierarchy, being judged and trust.
So, if you are sent off to virtual oblivion in a breakout room, here are some tips on how to get the most out of the situation. Seize that initial shy silence and be the one to introduce yourself and say where you are from. Next, talk about how much you are looking forward to learning from the other members of the group. “ I am not an expert in this area and so please give me feedback, if what I am saying makes no sense. Also, let’s all take full advantage of this chance to help each other grow. So, who would like to get us going and give a comment on the question?”. That takes about thirty seconds to explain. If nobody feels sufficiently comfortable yet to kick things off, then you lead with your prepared comment. I say “prepared comment”, because before this session you have gathered your ideas into a series of bullet points, which you can easily to talk to. You are not trying to wing it and make stuff up on the fly. Being prepared is much better than trying to be a spontaneous genius. And the rest of us can tell the difference.
By being active and asking questions of others in the group, people start to feel more comfortable and free to express their ideas. It is a good idea to praise people’s contributions, by saying, “Great insight there, referring to XYZ. Could you go a bit deeper on that point please, I am keen to hear more”.
When you speak, be concise, clear and please don’t try to hog the airwaves. Say your piece and then ask others for their ideas and comments. In this way, your reputation as a person of value goes up and your humility is noted and appreciated. No one enjoys the blowhard who wants to spend the majority of the time making sure everyone else has to listen to their voice.
