This episode is about radical self-acceptance. Today’s caller, Sylvie, has had therapy, done tons of personal development work, and speaks with her inner child but still feels blocked. We discuss ways she can reframe her perception of what her awareness is bringing up and how she can fully accept and love herself and her human experience.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode299]
When we have something we criticize, don’t like, or want to change and the way we relate to it is with judgment and shame and guilt, it amplifies it because all of our fears are seeking to be loved. We have the need to be seen and to be loved.
When it comes to the parts of ourselves that we judge and shame just pushing through our response to it, our freeze pattern, can re-traumatize us and reinforce wounds. So, instead of pushing through it, bring love to it.
We continue to get “negative” or undesirable experiences, not because we are being tested or the universe wants to punish us, but because our soul is always seeking to evolve. It is looking for a new way to respond to the circumstances. Circumstances don’t just stop when we have an awareness about something. When we have an awareness and we know why we are drawing certain things into our lives, we work through it, and then the same thing comes to us again because we need to practice integrating it.
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Consider/Ask Yourself
Have you done all the work but feel like things just are not changing? Do you freeze or just feel bolted down when it comes to putting yourself out there and making a request when selling your business? Did you grow up in a home where you weren’t nurtured and loved, especially when you made mistakes? Do you have a very critical judgmental voice inside your head? When you fail or make a mistake do you experience shame and guilt?
Sylvie’s Question:
Sylvie fears rejection. She has done personal development work but still feels blocked.
Sylvie’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She has been working to heal her traumatic childhood. She has a critical inner judgment. She is proud of her personal transformation. She talks with her inner child. She feels she is on the cusp of a breakthrough. She feels she is not reaching her potential. She is an empath and sees the world differently. She puts a lot of pressure on herself. She is starting her personal chef business but is hesitant to talk about it to others. She didn’t feel safe and nurtured as a child. She needs to feed herself the love she feeds to others.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Move into acceptance and move out of “fix and heal.” Ask what her triggers want her to know. Consider the worst-case scenario and play it out in her mind. Connect and tap into the big “why” of what she is doing. Regulate herself when she feels the “freeze.”
Takeaways:
When you are in a trauma response such as worry or freeze think about the worst-case scenario and play it out. Bring unconditional love and acceptance to your undesirable feelings. Take an inventory of the personal growth information you are consuming. If something makes you feel shame or somehow inadequate, stop ingesting it. Listen to Episode 297 where I describe how to regulate the nervous system.
Resources:
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Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
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