Episode 329 – I started to notice the expectations putting an expectation on things or a timeline or predict reactions. I try to do what I can every day and try not to put expectations on things anymore.
Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020. He is from Washington State, and he is 32 years old. This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF).
Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st. We are focused on having fun, staying authentic and helping others along the way.
Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.
Odette spoke about her beloved Peleton and the arsenal of “why’s”. and thought shifts. The instructor encouraged Odette to dig into her arsenal of why’s and keep going. Odette reflected on Simon Sinek’s book, Start with Why.
Odette reflected on her time in rehab. She focused on why she was recovering from food addiction. She knew having a family was her why and
Actions can be driven by fear or manipulation or love and inspiration. Simon says few people or companies can articulate why they do what they do.
Charisma has nothing to do with energy, it come from clarity of WHY. Energy comes from good sleep or caffeine. Charisma comes from loyalty, energy does not. Our purpose is to stay on the path of an alcohol-free life. Odette wants to stay sober so her kids can have a health, not perfect role model. Odette wants to have healthy relationships and break toxic patterns in society . Odette has many why’s and she leans on those whys when her tank is empty. Hard days are part of a good life. Dig into your arsenal of WHY’s.
[7:56] Odette introduces Dane
Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020. He lives in Washington State. He is a buy and hold real estate investor. He subcontracts with janitorial work. He is 32 and single. He has a son arriving in June. He was an only child, so he is hoping to make it as fun as possible. He loves to travel, seeing culture, history, and food. He loves cross fit, yoga, the river, boating and is returning to meditation.
[10:49] Tell us about your history with drinking?
Dane said he started drinking in high school He and a friend drank a fifth. In junior year, beer was the drink of choice. In college he was mixing drinks and he noticed things going downhill. He had a rock bottom moment; he was in a car accident. He was transported to Portland and was in the hospital for 30 days. He was de-gloved. After a year of healing, he returned to college to get his degree. For two months he didn’t drink. When he started again, he would black out and it went downhill from there.
[14:13] Were you questioning your relationship with alcohol when your accident occurred?
Dane said the night of the accident, he didn’t drink any more than usual. A psychology class prompted him to think about how much he drank. He moderated and binge drank on the weekends. Everybody drank in college, so it didn’t seem like a big deal.
[16:08] What happened after college?
After college, Dane moved to Seattle for a large city experience. He binged with his friends on the weekends. He began to distance himself from his friends so he wouldn’t drink as much. He went home to visit him family. His business and his family inspired him to move back to Eastern Washington.
[17:40}. When did you attempt to stop drinking?
Dane said he and his girlfriend had an argument. He didn’t remember any of it. He drove back to his house and awoke with shame, guilt, and anxiety. He tried to quit before, but generally avoiding his friends and moderating. He knew the life he wanted to have wouldn’t exist without drinking.
[19:47] What was your thought process about quitting?
Dane said once the car accident happened it put a bull’s eye on him. It put him on the map with an alcohol problem. People asked him about quitting or moderating.
When people asked him about quitting, he wanted the details so he could understand it.
Dane googled how to quit drinking or famous people who quit drinking. He knew for five years, he needed to quit, he just didn’t know how.
[24:06] What happened on October 10th?
I had an argument with my girlfriend and I couldn’t remember any of it. The first three days were recuperation. He continued looking at other nondrinkers. Dane found Café RE, and a weight was lifted. He knew he was not alone. As he continues getting tools, he knows his life is better.
He realized he was a good person but didn’t show his best character when drinking.
[27:34] How did you handle early sobriety?
Dane said he was always a binge drinker, and he listened to podcasts and focused on podcasts, yoga, and healthy food. He is tempted with a cold beer or a shot, but he goes back to what he may feel, do, or say.
Dane often thought he didn’t have a problem because he wasn’t a daily drinker.
A lot of times the hard things are hard. We think backwards.
He lets people know he isn’t drinking. Many people ask him how many days he has.
Dane gave a shout out to P
[37:27] Do you have a favorite non-alcoholic drink?
Dane said Topo Chico and Fred Meyer’s Selzer water. He loves the feeling. He also does some NA beers. He goes to water quickly.
[38:55} Have you noticed any changes in your daily routine?
Dane said he is sleeping a lot more. He acknowledges his body is healing and he needs the sleep. Day to day he works out and goes to one of his properties. He is working on meditation.
Dane is managing his expectations and tries to limit them.
[43 21:] Rapid Fire Round
What is a lightbulb moment you have you had in this journey?
I feel better physically and mentally
What would you say to your younger self?
Try the experiment but acknowledge your goals for your body and your spirit.
What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Ben & Jerry’s tonight dough.
What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners who are considering ditching the booze?
You are going to feel shitty, but you must let go of alcohol as the crutch.
You may have to say Adios to booze if …
If you almost die, almost lose your arm….
Odette’s Summary
Odette challenges us to build our list of why’s. Find all the reasons why you want to stay committed to ditching the booze.
This isn’t a no to alcohol, but a yes to a better life.
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