This episode is about letting go. Today’s caller, Hannah, went into shock after the loss of her mother and is feeling panic and anxiety. We talk through how she has never really allowed herself to grieve. Letting go is one of those things that sound good, right? But when it comes to doing, it can be difficult, especially when it comes to letting go of a dream, person, relationship, or chapter of our lives.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode337]
It is a big deal to lose anyone we love, especially when we lose a parent before we thought we would. Many of us know that once our parents age into their 80s and 90s, and their health starts to deteriorate, it can be an easier transition for us because we see them suffering and we want them to be in a better place. But when we lose someone suddenly, it can be shocking.
There are a lot of traumatic emotions around an unexpected death. It is physiological energy that needs an outlet. Often, the energy manifests itself as panic and anxiety. Panic and sadness serve a purpose and many times extreme emotions are a cry for help. The person who needs to answer the cry out is us. It is an alert that we need to learn to parent ourselves.
Grief sometimes gets a bad rap. Sometimes we feel we need to go through it quickly or do it in a certain order, or we worry we could get stuck in it. But, grief is more than sadness. It is about honoring the love, reminiscing, and appreciating how much we loved the person or thing we grieve.
If you haven't already done my Calling in 2022, Stepping Into the New Year Ritual, and Release 2021 Ritual. They are available as Coaches corner episodes.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
Did you have a loss of some kind that you haven’t fully processed or grieved? Do you know what healthy grieving looks like? Do you find yourself dealing with panic and anxiety and would like to shift it? If you did have a loss, are you holding some anger toward God or the universe and are having a hard time reconnecting to your spirituality?
Hannah’s Question:
Hannah has been dealing with panic and anxiety since her mother’s death last year. She would like guidance on how to handle what may be a traumatic experience in the future.
Hannah’s Key Insights and Ahas:
Her mother died due to COVID-19. She has developed PTSD over her mother’s death. Her husband is deploying to the military this year. She feels as if she is on auto-pilot. She felt solely responsible for the planning of her mother’s funeral. She is afraid to grieve because she doesn’t know how it will affect her. She is going to therapy. She experienced family trauma during her youth. She felt sad but people didn’t notice. She and her mother shared a mutual passion for spirituality. She feels anger toward the universe for taking her mother from her.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Read The Smell of Rain on Dust: Grief and Praise. Allow herself to fully experience grief by considering it as honoring how much she loved her mother. Trust herself to feel to heal. Share her vulnerability with her husband. Express her anger with God and lean into her spirituality. When she is triggered, regulate her nervous system by using techniques to bring her into the present.
Takeaways:
Are there any areas in your life where you have moved through a loss or transition and you didn’t allow yourself to grieve? Let your emotions out when you feel angry toward God or the universe.
Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
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