There are billions being spent in the beauty business, the weight loss, fashion and entertainment worlds. These are the fantasy lands from where we receive our images of success. By comparison, we are too short, too tall, too skinny, too fat, too poor, too whatever. Actors, sports stars, captains of industry all seem to be living the dream and we are barely making a living.
If only I had been born to wealthier parents, in a better neighbourhood, in a better city, in a better country. I wish I had a better education or had a better job, better prospects. I wish I had been dealt a better hand in life.
Stop wishing that because you are not going to be dealt a better hand. You have what you have, you can’t change what has happened in the past, but that doesn’t mean that is all you can ever have.
Many have made mistakes, specified poor choices, taken unwise paths, and have hung around with the wrong crowd. Face it, accept it, stop fighting it - you can’t undo the mistakes of the past. Stop trying to go backward and use that energy to go forward. Don’t live in the past. Look at your strengths, not just your weaknesses.
Well this all sounds very fine, dandy and noble but how do we do that? Well, we have to become our own first responder. When a catastrophe occurs, the first responders go in and rescue people, they apply life saving procedures and spirit the wounded away from the scene to safety.
The white knight, on his white charger is not about to turn up anytime soon and rescue us, so we had better get busy helping ourselves. We had better come up with our own rescue plan and start to move forward.
Before we can make that move though we have to throw off the heavy burdens holding us back. These are not physical, but mental barriers. We need to start by freeing ourselves from our past. Horrible, sad, unfair, gross, ridiculous things happened to us or we had supreme bad luck – it doesn’t matter, we have to move forward.
Now I didn’t say we had to forget what happened – that is unlikely and probably impossible. The trick is to free ourselves from the incapacitation that those events in the past are having on our daily reality. We need to focus on what is in front of us today. What is in the locus of our control.
If yesterday is haunting us to the point we can’t focus on today, we are never going to break free. To get rid of yesterday, so we can concentrate on today, we need to take the worry component out of our frame of reference. We can recall the past, but we need to deduct the worry bit. Worrying about it changes nothing, so recall but stop worrying about it. Create your own hermetically sealed memory house with glass walls, ceilings, windows, floors and doors where the content is visible but nothing can get out. Mentally make it so the worry dimension cannot escape to contaminate your today.
Having done that, we switch gears and look at our strengths and assets. Assets – what assets you ask? You have time and that is your greatest asset ever. You spend time either productively or less productively, but you still spend time. By looking at the time available as your asset, you can now start the process of going on to the front foot and thinking about how to spend that time more efficiently, effectively and productively.
You can set down a detailed vision for yourself. Where and how you would like to be in the near future. Next you can arrange a series of key high priority goals which will help you achieve that vision. Your goals must break down to precise, defined, realistic action steps to realise the vision’s objectives. Now we devote all the time we have available to working on those actions steps. This process creates forward momentum from which we can build further, step by step. What did all of this cost you? A small part of your greatest asset – time.
