What does it take to have a healthy marriage? You may think it’s 50/50, an equal input. Today’s guests share how healthy and love filled marriages are sustained with go-giving without intention to receive. John David & Ana Gabriel Mann join Paula to discuss their new book “The Go-Giver Marriage” and share behind the scenes of their “5 secrets” principles. They share how a healthy marriage is grounded in 2 healthy individuals creating a “us” but retaining their whole selves. They share the principle of “allowing” and refram how “people pleasing” is a selfish act of seeking something for yourself.
In this episode we chat about:
John & Ana’s co-author process
How their previous failed relationships allowed them to create happiness and balance
The childhood wounds you carry into adulthood unconsciously
Self-growth and self-development as a key to a healthy relationship
Detaching from your parent, without control
How it only takes 1 person to change the marriage dynamic
And so much more!
John David Mann is coauthor of more than 30 books, including four New York Times bestsellers and five national bestsellers. His classic 2008 parable The Go-Giver (coauthored with Bob Burg) earned the 2017 Living Now Book Award’s “Evergreen Medal” for its “contribution to positive global change.”
Ana Gabriel Mann, M.A., earned her degree in clinical psychology before going on to serve as an educator, therapist, corporate trainer, speaker, and coach. She currently coaches Go-Giver Marriage clients and leads the Go-Giver Marriage Coaches Training Program, training coaches from around the globe.
John and Ana have been dreaming about writing “The Go-Giver Marriage” together for nearly two decades.
Connect with John & Ana!
https://gogivermarriage.com
https://www.facebook.com//johndavidmann
https://www.instagram.com/gogivermarriage
https://www.linkedin.com/in/johndavidmann
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Timestamps:(02:55) John shares how he and Ana have always worked together through his writing career and how The Go-Giver Marriage was born.
(04:40) John & Ana share how they learned about a happy marriage through dysfunctional previous relationships.
(05:15) The childhood wounds you carry into a marriage, affecting your unconscious choices.
(06:42) Seeing “us” as separate from your individual selves.
(11:15) How “scorekeeping” can destroy a relationship.
(12:03) The Go-Giver Marriage principles apply to all close friendships and connections.
(14:09) Recognizing dysfunctional patterns in your upbringing that have caused unhealthy behaviors.
(16:53) How dysfunction in one area affects all others. Blended families, control and boundaries in a marriage.
(19:18) The principle of “allowing” your partner to be who they are and behave how they behave without your input or control.
(22:05) Finding the boundary between giving and people pleasing. How are you seeking to have your needs met?
(25:20) How over-giving is the denial of your own needs.
(28:08) Denial, criticism and co-dependence in relationships that show you need personal growth.
(30:00) Having the spirit of generosity with yourself that benefits your spouse.
(32:10) Taking care of yourself is the most functional gift you can give to your children.
(34:50) The Go-Giving Marriage is written as a parable with practice principles, and what this means to the reader.
(40:27) How just 1 person reading the book and working with the principles is enough to make a change.
(43:23) Moving from the story of what each person is doing to personal responsibility.
