Marni welcomes Shoshana, a graduate of The 5 KEYS to Becoming Irresistible program, into the studio to share the amazing relationship journey she has had since she invested in herself and the course. She credits the course for the major mindset shifts and healed relationships she has had in the last three years.
Key takeaways from this episode:
Investing in yourself pays off
The benefits of being clear about what you want
Being empowered to ask for what you want
Using the relationship tools in real life
Before investing in the 5 KEYS program, Shoshana says she was a butterfly who kept telling herself she wanted a relationship but wasn’t taking the necessary actions to be ready for one. The one phrase that stuck out to her during the course was:
The common denominator in all of your relationships is you.
The phrase really impacted her. She had never thought about how she was showing up in the world when it came to intimate relationships or what her view of partnerships was before then.
The course made her recognize her avoidant tactics. They were:
She didn’t take dating seriously
She would quickly get intimate with men she didn’t really know
She never expressed her needs
She wasn’t clear about what she wanted from a relationship
At first, she was hesitant to pay for a course for something she thought she should already know how to do but she had to let go of the shame. She realized she had to humble herself to ask for help.
As it turns out, the program filtered into her entire life. It empowered her to have a better life on her terms.
What Was Different About Dating
Shoshana was on the beach with her family on the 4th of July. She met a guy who was at a nearby party and it turns out they had many things in common. They hit it off and stayed together chatting on the beach long after everyone else left.
During the early days of her relationship, Shoshana had the courage to tell her guy that if she slept with him too soon she would become insecure. She reveals that having the courage to say that to someone, to date at her own pace, and tell the person why she didn’t want to sleep with them yet was super empowering.
Knowing your non-negotiables allows you to have the relationship you have always wanted.
Empowering Tools Not Rules
Shoshana says she realized that it wasn’t about trying to win someone over and get them to be in a relationship with her. It was about what she wanted and her non-negotiables. In this relationship, they both acknowledged their attraction to each other and talked about how they were showing up in the initial dating process.
You don’t have to make it work with everyone you date, and you probably don’t want to.
She is now living with her French boyfriend who lives in the U.S. They travel together frequently.
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