New Financial Years, new calendar years, new starts or not? We religiously muscle up and set our resolutions to improve ourselves in the coming 12 months. Often these resolutions are inwardly focused. Lose weight, get better organized, be more patient, etc. Every year, let’s set a breakthrough goal be it a financial year or a calendar year and make it really worthwhile going through this process. Let’s become a catalyst, a trigger, a spark to become the light on the hill for others around us. “Be the change you want to see” is a great Gandhi quote and tremendously wise and insightful.
We can start by changing how we see others. Instead of being a perpetual “fault finder”, a corrector of errors, a righteous blade to cut those making mistakes, a terminator of the terrible, why not try another approach? Rather than putting others down for their failings, why not become a person who is a serial encourager and builder of others?
Imagine the type of workplace you want to work in? Is it rife with politics, backstabbing, petty power tussles, whining, bitching and complaining about others? I doubt that is what any of us would vote for as a “workplace of the future”. We probably want a trouble free zone, where each person pulls their weight, is cooperative, supportive, committed, capable, successful and nice.
How we see others has a big influence on how we interact with them. If we see people in a negative light, we tend to search out their poor performance, their faults and inadequacies, while remaining blind to their strengths, achievements and potential.
Switch gears and start becoming a “good finder” rather than a “fault finder”. See that each person is operating under tremendous pressures – personal, financial, health, etc. When we see that all of us are united in carrying heavy burdens through life, we can become more empathetic, more forgiving and less judgmental. Remember we often selfishly hold everybody else accountable to a higher standard than that which we set for ourselves. We ingeniously cut ourselves some additional margin, because we know intimately all the problems we face, which mitigate our ability to be perfect. How about we extend some of that understanding to those around us?
Henry David Thoreau is often misquoted, but what he actually said still carries significance, especially here in Japan: “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation”. Japan is a modest place, not much given to hubris, exaggeration, bombast, boasting, self-promotion or superlatives. Whether it be ridiculously high density living in the big cities or the gossipy, tedious provincial humdrum, Japan is a place where few people realize their full potential. They purposely rein themselves in, knowing if they don’t, society will do it for them.
This adds up to tremendous internal, self-induced pressures which constantly bubble away under the surface calm. The Japan patina of customary standard politeness and consideration masks what is really going on in people’s “desperate” lives. So let’s get off our high horse this year and stop being a pain. Let’s encourage those around us to live to their full potential.
Let’s feedback to them what they are doing well. Let’s recognise them for their many strengths. Let’s be indirect, tactful and circumspect about pointing out any shortcomings. Let’s help others to really stretch their Comfort Zones and assure them that the risks associated with growth are worth it. Let’s note and praise tiny, faltering steps forward, to inspire others to make even bigger strides.
We must simply stop complaining. We should take that whole sad vocabulary out of our thought and speech patterns. We will now speak in positive terms about life, business and those around us. We will switch on a mental outlook that emanates a powerful external illumination to guide others to find their own strengths hidden within as they climb the hill.
In short, we should become a tremendous giver of good. A guiding beacon for the positive in our dark, desperate, foreboding and at times, simply terrifying reality. Decide which world you want to inhabit and then become that world. We often want and wait for everybody else to make the change, to improve, to do better. By the way, how has that been going for you so far? This time let's try another approach. Be the light.
