This episode is about speaking our needs in relationships and clearing out relationships that no longer serve us. Today’s caller, Josie, recently broke up with a long-term friend. She is feeling guilt around her decision. Christine reveals how friendships can be a beautiful teacher for us. We attract and draw in people in all different capacities and often friends that trigger us and reveal our issues. Yet, some friendships have expiration dates just like romantic relationships.
[For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode363]
We don’t always think of friendships as a way to learn about our unresolved issues, particularly with our parents. Yet, we are always seeking to evolve and grow. Our subconscious is always at work trying to meet our needs. When we have unmet needs we look to people who seem familiar to the people who didn’t meet our needs in the first place.
If you have a friendship that is not working and draining you and you keep trying but it feels overwhelming, it is okay to end the friendship. It is better to end it and have a clearing and completion conversation than to make excuses and dread the person’s phone call or see them when you just don’t want to be their friend.
It takes up a lot of energetic space and it is not kind to the other person to pretend to be their friend. Complete any friendships that are not serving you or that you have grown out of. It is OK to move on.
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Consider/Ask Yourself:
Did you recently have a breakup with a friend or are you in a friendship that may need a breakup? Do you have a friendship where you feel you can’t fully be yourself or maybe the friendship feels one-sided? Have you ever thought the friends you attract are based on childhood issues? Do you feel you audition in relationships?
Josie’s Question:
Josie recently had a breakup with a life-long friend and she is doubting her decision.
Josie’s Key Insights and Ahas:
She recently broke up with her life-long friend. She feels guilty about her decision to break up. But she feels a sense of relief. She let others drive relationships. She feels she auditions in her relationships. She feels she needs to put her needs aside to be noticed. She feels nervous telling others how she feels. She fears abandonment in her current relationship. She feels that if she is her true self she will lose her boyfriend. In many ways, she parented her father.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
Do work around her father wound. Speak her needs in relationships. Let go of any relationships that no longer serve her.
Takeaways:
Move on from friendships that you have grown out of or that no longer serve you.
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Resources:
Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community
Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner
Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler
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