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In this video, we are responding to 2 comments with the 5 signs that a marriage is over based on how a man responds to a crisis.
Here is the first comment.
“My wife has been gone for a few months. 10 years together and she’s just pulled the plug on all emotions she had for me. She talks and looks at me differently now. She never sees our one year old son. Wtf has happened. God I miss her 😢” ~ by Slaven Yatic
And here is the 2nd comment.
"Truth is she doesn’t. Folks, separation is not a good thing period. 5% of separation works and they end up back together but 80% of separation ends up in a divorce. If your partner wants a separation it means they have someone else in mind." ~ Comment by Triple A Triple a
So here we go.
Sign Number 5 OLA - You Feel Damages Happen Overnight
Believe it or not; most men that go through this type of trauma always feel that the woman just changed overnight. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Some call it “the walk away wife syndrome.” It’s basically unhappy wives who leave their husbands… emphasis on “UNHAPPY”.
There is not one single event that can destroy your marriage. And if you can’t comprehend that, comprehend this.
Not realizing that damages never happen overnight is a sign that your marriage is over and potentially forever. In fact, your marriage ended a long time ago.
So clearly, it’s even worse that you haven’t been able to pay enough attention to detect this for potentially so long.
She didn’t just pull the plug on emotions she had for you. Rather, she had been disconnected from you emotionally long before you realized.
Maybe she was trying to protect your feelings and then finally realized that it is a non-sustainable effort. Many women try this and it always fails eventually.
Sign Number 4 LOLA - You Use Children to Manipulate
Naturally, a separation from family, wife or husband will create trauma for your children and that’s simply part of life.
But let’s be honest, overreacting to this is obviously an indication that… you have probably overreacted to many other events in the past.
The default is that your children will get dragged through the mud that you and your ex-partner-to-be have created. It’s just the reality.
And if you have a hard time facing reality, it is little-to-no-wonder that you will attempt to use your children’s trauma to manipulate the direction of things. Is that what you mean by “She never sees our one year old son?”
That, precisely, is a sign that your marriage is over. It doesn’t have to be over, if you are willing to indulge in the possibility of a new understanding.
Your focus needs to go into working on the evaporated attraction in your romantic relationship because it is the root cause. It is your only point of leverage and there are any further chances.
If you think separation is bad, your marriage is probably over. Saying that is just another manipulative measure to get a person who doesn’t want you to stay with you.
There is no better way to tell me that you are negotiating “desire”. It doesn't work. In fact, it will work against your marriage.
In addition, pushing against separation is not a way to save your marriage. If at least one of the parties is asking for separation, that marriage is over anyway.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t build a new foundation from scratch with or without the same person.
As long as you are obsessed with the idea of sustaining the present terrible state of your marriage, how can you build another foundation?
Remember the emphasis on “happy”? How can you create happiness in a marriage where one person is not happy?
I know what you are thinking. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness? You are half-wrong because how we feel is a function of our environment.
So as long as you are a part of your spouses’ environment, you are a factor. You are part of the variables that determine her emotional state.
But also vice versa.
Do wives ever come back after separation? The answer is “YES”. But how likely is that to happen to you?
Your marriage is over if you project improperly interpreted stats and data on your relationship as facts. Your wife will not come back after separation.
So even if we have to take “Triple A Triple a”’s comment, which is the fact that only 5% of separation works, I guarantee that your personal case will be in the 80% that end up in divorce if you project the “stat” on your relationship.
It’s simple. In the human experience, what you focus on expands. That principle is undefeated just like the fact that she wants separation.
Data and stat are mostly useful in a class and scholar activities.
If you are personally going through a crisis in your relationship, focus on learning what it takes to create attraction in your particular situation.
You can’t do that trying to smother a person who wants to leave with numbers and stats.
Tip Number 1 OLA - You Believe She Has Someone Else in Mind
In fact, it’s true that many women are right now trying to figure out how to leave their husbands for a different life all together; not just someone else.
She wants to leave. The attempt to make yourself feel better by accusing her of having someone else in mind is just another useless effort to save the marriage.
Let’s be honest. You will only feel worse even if it isn’t true. Also, you are spreading unnecessary toxic energy.
But again, I know what you are thinking.
What if it’s true that she has someone else?
Let me ask you the same question. What if?
Is that a good excuse to drag yourself further through the mud? Is that a reality you can’t deal with without throwing your whole life away?
If the answer is yes, have you considered it… as a good reason to obsessively smother the relationship to death?
We are speaking from experience.
We share our own story inside the book "GET MY MARRIAGE BACK" which you can download for free at www.GetMyMarriageBack.com
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