In Part One, we went deep on the KNOW Factor in sales and today we turn to why we need to be likeable. Actually, do we need buyers to like us? Maybe not in every case, but it doesn’t hurt does it? As a buyer yourself, would you rather deal with someone you like, rather than a person you didn’t like? We will all prefer to work with people we like, but what makes us likeable?
Some clients we get on with like a house on fire and others not so much. In my case, I want to turn all of my clients into my friends, and I want a lifetime relationship with all of them. Does it always work out that way? Of course not, but that doesn’t mean I should stop trying for that outcome.
We tend to be most comfortable with people who are like us, who have similar interests and who are easy to talk to. To get on well with others we need to know how they work. None of this is an accident, by the way. We are constantly sorting through the people we meet to find those who are the most similar to us. This is the easiest group for us to deal with.
The problem comes from dealing with the rest of the population, who are not like us. There are four basic personality styles we need to be aware of, to help us understand how we should communicate and work with different types of clients. We want to capture all of the business available and not just a share based around our comfort. What if we can make buyers who are nothing like us feel quite comfortable in dealing with us? Won’t that open the door to doing more business and isn’t that what we want?
To do all of this we have to make two decisions when we meet buyers. The first decision is to place them on a horizontal scale of whether they are highly assertive or not. If they are assertive we place them on the right of that scale. If they are not assertive, we locate them on the left side. How do we tell? If they have strong views on a subject and readily state their opinion, they are assertive. If they rarely venture their opinion and seem passive, then they are less assertive.
The other decision is on a vertical scale, regarding whether they are outcome driven on the bottom of the scale or more interested in people on the top of the scale. How do we tell which one they are? If they talk about KPIs, ROI, targets, goals, etc., then they are going to be results oriented. If they talk about how to get the team to work well together and how to build a strong culture etc., then they will be people oriented. This locates them on the top of the scale.
This gives us a four-quadrant frame to understand better who we are talking to. Amiables are top left. They are less assertive and very people oriented. When we meet them, we should be talking about how the solution we are offering will positively impact their people. We should take our time, have a cup of tea and reduce our voice strength and body energy when we are with them.
I was supposed to give the new guy a brief about my Division, when he joined the firm. I started out explaining the detail and he immediately diverted me to talk about people we both knew. I never did brief him on what my division did, because he spent the whole time talking about people – definitely an Amiable.
Smile when you talk to them and be friendly. Give them honest, sincere appreciation. Make it real and not flattery. If you mention some positive attribute back it up with proof, so that they know it is real and not some dodgy salesperson snake oil. We should not cut them off or finish their sentences when they are talking and we should encourage them to do as much talking as possible. Try to be genuinely interested in them. We should use their name when we are talking to them - just don’t overdo it.
The direct opposite type is bottom right in the frame - the Driver, with which I am very familiar! They don’t care about your smiles, because they are results and outcome oriented and have little time for small talk. They want to get down to business and hear about the outcomes they can expect. “Time is money” is their mantra, so don’t waste their time wanting to have a cup of tea together and get to know each other. Be high energy, strong in voice and body language.
If that is not your natural play, then you have to switch it up when you are with them or you will just irritate them. Now that is not the position a seller wants to find themselves in. Be strong and get straight into the three reasons why they should buy your solution, the concrete measurable results this will bring and then get the hell out of their office. They like that.
I was in a sales meeting with a foreign executive, newly arrived in Japan, talking to him for the first time. As he joined me while I was waiting in the meeting room, I began to engage him in some typical small talk. After five seconds of this, he cut me off very abruptly and said , “let’s get down to business”. That told me straight away he was a Driver and I knew I had to be quick, concise, confident and assertive with him. We did the deal for training for his leaders in fifteen minutes in that meeting, because he was a busy man and had other things to do. A classic Driver.
Never criticise the competition, the government or the weather to them. Instead, always be positive and upbeat. Use their name, because that is music to their ears. Make them feel important, but do it sincerely. They are usually powerful people with a lot of confidence and often big egos. Get them to talk about themselves, because that is a favourite subject. Talk in terms of their interests and cut everything else out of your conversation.
Work on supplying what they want and keep that conversation tight. Don’t keep adding details, because they are interested in outcomes not getting bogged down in the weeds. Superfluous details just dilute your key messages. Don’t bother complementing them to get into their good books. They don’t need you approbation or any one else’s for that matter. They just dismiss it as propaganda and pap. They are inwardly directed and emotionally independent.
Bottom left is the Analytical. They are not demonstrative and can be rather quiet. Your dynamic salesperson energy needs to be toned right down and you should mirror their body language as much as possible. Speak quietly and be circumspect in what you say. They love numbers to three decimal places, want proof, testimonials, evidence and lots and lots of data. They don’t care much about people, but they do care about numbers, so come bearing lots of numbers for them. Try to get them talking, but don’t expect them to share much about themselves. Don’t bother flattering them, they are not interested in what you think. Bring proof to back up what you are saying.
Top right are the Expressives. They are big picture people, who don’t like masses of detail. They are usually high energy and we have to match that energy. They like people and enjoy talking, so smile and get them talking about themselves – a favourite subject. They appreciate honest, sincere appreciation, because it agrees with their own positive, confident self-image. Use their name, because that is a sound they like. Make them feel important, but avoid anything which smacks of flattery, because that insults their intelligence.
We are simultaneously more than one of these styles. I am a Driver, but when I am selling, leading or training, I move up to the Expressive personality type. When I am looking at the results forecast and the P&L, I move across to the Analytical. In my case, I rarely wander into Amiable territory though.
We cannot just work well with people who are the same personality style as us, because that means we are missing out on three quarters of our buyers. We have to migrate our communication delivery to other styles’ preferences, depending on who we are dealing with. Does that mean we will suffer severe psychological problems and become schizophrenic? No! We keep our own individual style within ourselves, but we learn to speak the languages preferred by the other styles. We stay the same, but we change the language we use, depending on who we are talking to.
As human beings, we all like people who are more like us, those who have similar ideas and interests. As salespeople, we have to be flexible and quickly understand who is in front of us and then change our communication and behaviour to suit. Is this deceitful? No, we are just adapting how we do things, to how they like things done. We still offer the same wonderful solutions, but we change the way we explain the solutions to a format that they can easily accept.
To be liked by buyers, we need to understand where they are coming from and meet them there.
In Part Three we will look at how to be trusted by your buyers.
