- Elysa ditched us to go ride rollercoasters, so we kicked her off the show. Don’t tell her.
- Andrew was slick with hamburger grease when he randomly encountered longtime fan of the show.
- The trio share their credit card advice and nightmares. Don’t be like us.
- Harry Potter is singlehandedly responsible for Matt’s credit card debt. JK Rowling, we’ll send you his account information if you wanna help a brother out.
- Surprise! Another shooting, this time at a movie theatre in Louisiana. Are we surprised?
- Airport style security in all public places = preferable to common sense gun reform.
- Thanks to NASA, we’re all moving to Kepler 452b, aka “New Earth.” No guns or Trumps allowed.
- 5000 protestors will assemble in a tangled, sweaty orgy in Nairobi to protest gay marriage in time for Obama’s arrival in Kenya. Why weren’t we invited?
- A #Millennial Facebook group special request: What do we think of raising the minimum wage to $15/hr? Elysa weighs in because she’s omnipotent.
- Are airline checked baggage fees a thing of the past?! (Probably not.)
- We make a progressive decision following this week’s “Surprise Bitch!”
- We play The Elysa Game and discover that she’s even more traitorous than Andrew.
Reminder: We will be taking our midseason break and returning with Episode 28 on August 17th!
