In Part One we covered three foundational human relations principles: avoid criticism, offer honest appreciation, and connect your requests to what the other person wants. In Part Two, we level up the relationship-building process with three more principles that are simple, timeless, and strangely rare in modern workplaces.
How do leaders build trust when everyone is time-poor and transactional?
Trust is built by slowing down “relationship time” on purpose—because rushed efficiency kills human connection.In post-pandemic workplaces (hybrid, remote, overloaded calendars), teams can become purely transactional: tasks, Slack messages, deadlines, repeat. The problem is: efficiency is a terrible strategy for relationships. If people don’t feel known or understood, you don’t have trust—you have compliance (and even that is fragile).
Across Japan, the US, and Europe, the pattern is consistent: when leaders invest time in people, cooperation rises; when leaders treat people as moving parts, motivation drops. Relationship-building is a leadership system, not a personality trait—schedule it like you’d schedule a customer meeting.
Do now: Put one 15-minute “relationship slot” on your calendar each day this week and use it to learn something real about one team member.
How can a leader “become genuinely interested” without it feeling fake?
Genuine interest means curiosity without agenda—because people can smell manipulation in seconds. A lot of leaders worry, “If I ask personal questions, won’t it look like I’m trying to use them?” That’s a fair concern, because we’ve all met the “networking vampire” who’s only being nice to get something. The reality is: being “nice” to take advantage of people usually works once—then you’re done, especially in a hyper-connected organisation where word spreads fast.
The difference is intent. Real interest isn’t a technique; it’s respect. Every colleague has a story—skills, family background, side projects, passions, scars, ambitions. The workplace becomes richer and happier when leaders make space for that humanity, rather than pretending everyone is a job title.
Do now: Ask one non-work question you can genuinely listen to: “What are you into outside of work these days?” Then shut up and learn.
Why does “shared interests” matter so much for team performance?
Shared interests create closeness, and closeness makes cooperation easier when pressure hits. In any team—whether it’s a Japanese HQ, a Silicon Valley startup, or a regional APAC sales unit—conflict isn’t usually about the task. It’s about interpretation: “They don’t care,” “They’re lazy,” “They’re political,” “They’re against me.” When you know someone’s point of view (and why they think that way), you stop writing hostile stories about them.
This is where relationship-building becomes performance insurance. When deadlines tighten, the team with trust can debate hard and move forward. The team without trust gets passive-aggressive, silent, or stuck. Leaders who take an honest interest create the bonds that prevent small issues from turning into culture damage.
Do now: Find one “common point” with each direct report (sport, kids, music, learning, food) and remember it.
Does smiling actually improve leadership outcomes—or is it just fluff?
A deliberate smile makes you more approachable and lowers threat levels, which increases cooperation. It sounds too simple, so leaders dismiss it—then wonder why people avoid them. Walk around most offices and you’ll see the default face: stressed, pressured, serious. Not many smiles. Technology was supposed to give us time, yet in the 2020s it often makes us busier and more tense—meaning we’re losing the art of pleasant interaction.
A smile is not weakness. In Japan especially, a calm, friendly demeanour can change the whole atmosphere before you even speak. In Western contexts, it signals confidence and openness. Either way, it reduces friction. Start with the face, and the conversation gets easier.
Do now: Before your next team conversation, smile first—then speak. Watch how their body language changes.
Why is using someone’s name a leadership “power tool” in Japan and globally?
A person’s name is a shortcut to respect, recognition, and connection—so forgetting it is an avoidable disadvantage. In organisations, you’ll deal with people across divisions, projects, and periodic meetings. In Japanese decision-making, multiple stakeholders are often involved, and you can’t afford to blank on someone when you run into them at their office or in the hallway. The same is true at industry events and client meetings: you represent your organisation, and names matter.
This isn’t about being slick. It’s about sending a signal: “I see you.” If competitors remember names and you don’t, they feel warmer, more attentive, and more trustworthy—even if their offering is identical.
Do now: Use the name early: “Tanaka-san, quick question…” then use it once more before you finish.
What if I’m terrible with names—how do I get better fast?
You don’t need a perfect memory—you need a repeatable system that works under pressure. Leaders often say, “I’m just bad with names,” as if it’s permanent. It’s not. Treat it like any business skill: practise, build a method, and improve. In a hybrid world, you often have fewer in-person touchpoints, which means you must be more intentional when you do meet.
Try this in Japan, the US, or anywhere: repeat the name immediately, connect it to something visual or contextual (“Kato = key account”), and write it down after the meeting. If it’s a client team with multiple stakeholders, map names to roles the same day. This one skill upgrades your executive presence quickly.
Do now: After your next meeting, write down three names and one detail for each—then review it before the next interaction.
Conclusion
These principles aren’t “soft skills”—they’re leadership mechanics. Genuine interest builds trust. Smiling changes the emotional temperature. Names create recognition and respect. In any market—Japan, the US, Europe, or Asia-Pacific—the leaders who practise these consistently get more cooperation, fewer misunderstandings, and better results.
FAQs
Can I build trust without spending lots of time? Yes—small, consistent moments of genuine interest beat rare, long catch-ups.
Will smiling make me look weak? No—a calm smile reduces stress and increases cooperation without lowering standards.
What’s the fastest relationship habit? Use people’s names correctly and give one sincere recognition each day.
Author Credentials
Dr. Greg Story, Ph.D. in Japanese Decision-Making, is President of Dale Carnegie Tokyo Training and Adjunct Professor at Griffith University. He is a two-time winner of the Dale Carnegie “One Carnegie Award” (2018, 2021) and recipient of the Griffith University Business School Outstanding Alumnus Award (2012). As a Dale Carnegie Master Trainer, Greg is certified to deliver globally across all leadership, communication, sales, and presentation programs, including Leadership Training for Results. He has written several books, including three best-sellers — Japan Business Mastery, Japan Sales Mastery, and Japan Presentations Mastery — along with Japan Leadership Mastery and How to Stop Wasting Money on Training. His works have been translated into Japanese, including Za Eigyō (ザ営業), Purezen no Tatsujin (プレゼンの達人), Torēningu de Okane o Muda ni Suru no wa Yamemashō (トレーニングでお金を無駄にするのはやめましょう), and Gendaiban “Hito o Ugokasu” Rīdā (現代版「人を動かす」リーダー).
Greg also publishes daily business insights on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter, and hosts six weekly podcasts. On YouTube, he produces The Cutting Edge Japan Business Show, Japan Business Mastery, and Japan’s Top Business Interviews, which are widely followed by executives seeking success strategies in Japan.
