Summary
How do we help our children discover the gift that they are? In this episode, we explore the powerful cycle of identity, belonging, and mission—and how it unfolds across the key stages of childhood. From the early years of wonder and dependence, to the exploratory middle years, to the identity-shaping teen years, we unpack what children need most at each phase—and how parents can respond with confidence. We dive into how children develop their gifts, navigate friendships, and grow into their sexual identity, as we highlight the unique role parents play—not as controllers, but as guides, coaches, and mentors. The goal? To raise children who not only know who they are—but are equipped to live it out with purpose.
Key Takeaways
Development happens in stages—and each one matters.
0–6: Children absorb everything. They need love, security, and protection of innocence.
6–12: The “explorer” stage—kids discover gifts through play, friendship, and trying new things.
12–18: Adult Identity is formed. Teens begin asking, Who am I? What am I made for?
Your role as a parent must evolve. In the early years you are a nurturer and protector. In the middle years you are an observer and encourager of gifts. Then in the teen years you are a coach and guide
By adolescence, formation happens largely outside the home—through friends, mentors, and experiences.
Especially in ages 6-12, exposure and exploration are critical. Kids need freedom to try, fail, quit, and try again. This is how they discover their natural gifts.
Parental guidance—especially from fathers to sons—is crucial during key windows of development.
Couple Discussion Questions
What stage is my child in right now—and how might I need to adjust my role to better support them in this season?
Where might my child need more freedom to explore their gifts, or more encouragement from me to persevere through challenges?
