Wherein Our Heroes offer twice the righteousness in several cases: Steven Gerrard gets a biopic and joins the Telegraph, Caballero and Rashford garner fanfare for their coifs (or lack thereof), and Neapolitan robbers and El Hadji Diouf etch their names in the annals of unsavoury eternity. Van Gaal takes a dive as Manchester United beat Arsenal, Wenger makes excuses, and the Capital One Cup Final is an electrifying affair. Also, why are so many goalkeepers both American and bald?
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