Hey guys for this week’s “Five Minute Thursday” I wanted to highlight a few takeaways from our interview with Jason Mackenzie, founder of the The Book of Open.
Empowerment through Vulnerability
For most men, we associate vulnerability with weakness. To be honest, even hearing the word “vulnerable” my first thought is “unwanted exposure to weakness.” However, vulnerability is a strength. Vulnerability is empowerment through authenticity, which is being true to one’s self.
I have been working with men/fathers for the past three years, and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that if men are going to be “vulnerable” with each other, it has to be in an atmosphere or situation where it “cool thing.”
I can tell you from experience that men will check out when you start talking about sensitive stuff like “let’s share our feelings.” Men simply don’t respond to that when in the presence of another man. In fact, it’s even hard for us to do this with our wives for the most part.
However, men are good at one thing…problem solving. We love to problem solve. We feel empowered when we share our wisdom and give advice. To be honest, being vulnerable is sharing a struggle or an obstacle and simply asking for input.
The way to kick start a “cool atmosphere” of vulnerability is to ask for advice from a friend.
Here’s an example that will really hit this home…If you are sitting across that table with a friend and he says:
“Hey Mike, I am struggling in my marriage and I need to share my feelings with you about it.”
OR
“Hey Mike…man…so check this out, Jen and I are having some tough times lately. There is a ton of tension between Jen and me. I can’t really figure out how to get things back in the groove. Have you and Becky been through this? If so, how can you help me out man?”
Which one of those sounds better and would be received better? It’s the same dilemma and situation…just teed up better.
Abundance versus Scarcity
Jason hit upon a great topic that is powerful for all of us and that is having the right mentality. Our brains are wired up to default to fear and keep us from danger. This part of our brain is the amygdala and it has been a part of our hardwired DNA since the beginning. This is the part of our brain where we hear the voice of fear and consequences. It’s the same part of your brain that will talk you out of risks and tells you are not good enough. It’s not our fault; it’s just part of our hardwiring.
It takes a trained and disciplined mind to look at our lives with abundance vs. scarcity. Successful people don’t think about what they are going to lose by taking a calculated risk. Successful people consider what they will lose if they don’t take a calculated risk and move forward.
So, the next time that fear voice starts to bend your ear, remember the words of wisdom from Jason Mackenzie on this subject. It’s all about perspective and reframing.
No One Relates to Perfection
I grew up in the 80’s and I was a die-hard WWF professional wrestling fan. Hulk Hogan, Rick Flair, Jimmy Superfly, and so-on were my heroes. The most hated guys in that sport at that time was “Mr. Perfect and Mr. Wonderful.” Want to know why? It’s because no one can relate to inflated egos and perfection.
People relate to real-life authenticity and transparency. Our greatest human need is the need for community and relationships. It’s impossible for us to relate to others that view themselves as superhuman or “perfect.”
The big lesson here is there is connection and empowerment through being authentic, vulnerable, and transparent. People relate to us better in that mindset and we are more willing to accept ourselves.
Guys, thanks for checking out this week’s “Five Minute Thursday.” See you next week and have an awesome weekend!
