ONLINE -- REPORT
SUBJECT: INSPECTOR GADGET -- RETRIEVED. CONDITION -- SEVERELY DAMAGED. RETRIEVAL DETAILS -- FOUND WASHED UP ON SHORE. PHYSICAL STATUS -- SANDY AND WATERLOGGED. MENTAL STATUS -- TOTAL MEMORY LOSS. CAUSE OF INITIAL DISAPPEARANCE -- CONTACT WITH MONOLITH. CURRENT LOCATION OF MONOLITH -- UNKNOWN. GADGET RECORDING EQUIPMENT -- OPERATIONAL. RECORDED DATA FROM MONOLITH ENCOUNTER -- UNDAMAGED.
INTERNATIONAL COALITION FORMED FOR DATA RETRIEVAL. WARNING: FOUR HIGH-LEVEL HACKERS KNOWN TO BE AWARE OF MONOLITH ENCOUNTER, WILL LIKELY ATTEMPT TO ACCESS DATA THEMSELVES. RETRIEVING FILES.
SUBJECT: RADICAL EDWARD. CHILD HACKER FROM YEAR 2071. LAST KNOWN WHEREABOUTS -- BEBOP, CONVERTED INTERPLANETARY FISHING VESSEL. UNKNOWN COWBOY ASSOCIATIONS. FREQUENTLY SEEN WALKING ON HANDS AND TYPING WITH TOES.
SUBJECT: ELLIOT ALDERSON, CYBERSECURITY ENGINEER -- E-CORP. INTROVERT, SHUT-IN, PARANOID. HACKER VIGILANTE. KNOWN ASSOCIATE -- "MR. ROBOT" -- IDENTITY UNKNOWN. RECENTLY JAILED FOR CRIMINAL ACTIVITY, SOMEHOW HACKS EVERYTHING ANYWAY.
SUBJECT: NOMI MARKS. ONE OF EIGHT SO-CALLED SENSATES, ABBREVIATED AS "SENSE8." TRANSGENDER HACKTIVIST/VIDEO BLOGGER. MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE ONCE HACKED THE PENTAGON. NOTABLE FOR EXCELLENT CHOICE IN GIRLFRIENDS.
SUBJECT: DAISY "SKYE" JOHNSON. AGENT OF S.H.I.E.L.D. -- ACRONYM UNKNOWN, CONSTANTLY CHANGING. FORMER MEMBER OF HACKER ORGANIZATION "THE RISING TIDE." SPECIES -- INHUMAN. SUPERHERO ALIAS -- QUAKE. CHILDHOOD ALIAS -- MARY SUE. NO, REALLY.
INTERROGATIVE -- WHICH EXPERT HACKER POSSESSES SKILL NECESSARY TO BREACH COALITION SYSTEMS, LOCATE GADGET/MONOLITH ENCOUNTER DATA, ESCAPE WITH PRICELESS INFORMATION?
ANSWER -- UNKNOWN
SOLUTION -- RESOLVE CONFLICT VIA SMASH FICTION MATCH
ACCESS PROGRAM: HOUR OF BULLSHIT
RUN
