Twelve Steps To A Win-Win Conflict Resolution (Part 2)
Conflict is with us everywhere, everyday. That is the nature of the human condition. We have different desires and thinking. Some conflicts can be very low level and minor and we continue to cruise through the day. In other cases however, it becomes a lot more problematic.
In any organization, when the machine is fighting against itself, progress becomes suspended. Instead of concentrating on beating the other guy, we have suddenly become locked into an internal battle against ourselves. In large firms these can be driven by strong personalities thrusting themselves forward to get to the top. They bring their divisions with them into the fight and a lot of energy and time is wasted dropping large rocks on our own feet!
We need to see the bigger picture here and look for how we can marshal our strength, access the diversity in our ranks and maximize the creative possibilities rather than concentrating on the battling within our own ranks.
In Part One we looked at areas we could work on to have a better chance of resolving conflicts. We looked at our attitude, finding neutral ground, clarifying what is the issue, being properly prepared, being self-aware and emphasizing commonalities rather than differences.
We continue that process and look at steps number 7 to 12.
Deal with facts, not emotions
In sports we say “play the ball, not the man” and in business we look at problems not personalities. This sounds fair enough, but it is not easy to do. We may find we are attacking the person, their ideas and opinions rather than looking at solving the problem. We need to switch over to outcome focus and logic. This will take the personalities component out of the equation and help us to get to an agreed solution faster.
Be honest
Politicking, game playing, one upping are all well known in business, but stay away from these pursuits. Focus on the reason everyone is working hard in the company. Remind yourself what we are we trying to achieve relative to our competitors. We need to come back to the basics of the vision, mission and values.
Present alternatives and provide evidence
Compromise is the assembly of other ways of solving an issue. Things that make sense and are workable are very hard to argue against. Concessions in non-core areas should be made to build trust and the cooperation muscle. Look at options in terms of the other side’s interests. When promoting your own ideas, make sure these are backed up with strong evidence, so that they are easy to agree with and hard to argue against.
Be an expert communicator
Communication skills are essential to finding resolution to points of difference and can be done in a way that the relationship is maintained. Really listen to the other side. We often think we are listening but actually inside our brain, we are formulating what we will say next and so are not really taking in the other side’s points. Feeding back that we have understood them is a good habit to develop.
End on a good note
Win-win means feeling like we all did well. Shake on it, agree the next action steps and milestones. Nominate who is responsible for what and how progress and success will be measured. Also decide how further disputes which may arise during the execution phase will be handled.
Enjoy the process
Companies benefit from having a range of views and diverse experiences when it comes to solving problems. The process of resolving disputes educates us on how to see things differently and to entertain other ways of doing things. We can often build stronger relationship s having gone through this type of dispute resolution because we have come to know and understand each other much better than we would have otherwise.
Resolving conflicts is not easy but most people pour their energy into winning the conflict rather than trying to find the win-win. The latter is the better option every time if you want to win in the market. Fighting amongst ourselves makes no sense and we can do better than that. These 12 steps will get us pointed in the right direction.
Engaged employees are self-motivated. The self-motivated are inspired. Inspired staff grow your business but are you inspiring them? We teach leaders and organisations how to inspire their people. Want to know how we do that? Contact me at greg.story@dalecarnegie.com
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About The Author
Dr. Greg Story: President, Dale Carnegie Training Japan
In the course of his career Dr. Greg Story has moved from the academic world, to consulting, investments, trade representation, international diplomacy, retail banking and people development. Growing up in Brisbane, Australia he never imagined he would have a Ph.D. in Japanese decision-making and become a 30 year veteran of Japan.
A committed lifelong learner, through his published articles in the American, British and European Chamber journals, his videos and podcast “THE Leadership Japan Series”, he is a thought leader in the four critical areas for business people: leadership, communication, sales and presentations. Dr. Story is a popular keynote speaker, executive coach and trainer.
Since 1971, he has been a disciple of traditional Shitoryu Karate and is currently a 6th Dan. Bunbu Ryodo (文武両道-both pen & sword) is his mantra and he applies martial art philosophies and strategies to business.
