Well, you should just call us a bunch of little Brian Setzer Orchestras cause it looks like we're bringing back swing! Eh, that was a pretty belaboured metaphor. But not as belaboured as whatever's going on in the much-loathed Sam Raimi-headed goulash of a movie: Spider-Man 3.
How much of Sandman's sand can you replace and have him still be Sandman? Why the hell do we have an alien conveniently crashing right next to the only superhero in New York instead of using the previously established astronaut to go and get it? What is the secret of notable polymath James Franco?
Are Manhattan subway tracks really built like the Temple of Doom minecarts? What does everyone in New York assume that this new evil dude who's showed up is also Spider-man, but Venom isn't?
There might be a good movie hidden under here! No really, like deep under here. And you've got to change a bunch. Also some light recasting. Look, we're trying to be on the bright side here, okay?
