Questions As Incoming Missiles
The new President, a super star with a brilliant resume, started attending our Division’s weekly meetings. We were between divisions heads, because he had just fired the old one, so he took it upon himself to see what was going on. We were all pretty excited to be in the presence of corporate royalty. The first meeting, though in a room a bit small for all the people crowded in, seemed to be going okay as people reported the results. But then things went a bit crazy. When he didn’t like what he heard, he would explode with rage, going from zero to 100 in a nanosecond. His fury was so intense and his questions were brutal and lethal. If you were on the receiving end, your spine simply decalcified on the spot. Every week the meeting was like this.
Here is something I noticed. Never sit in front of an enraged President. Whoever sits in front is going to get both barrels between the eyes. It happened every week, time after time. Get there early and always sit at the absolute end of the long table, on the same side as the President. It is very hard to see you there, so you can escape his wrath and get a good view of the decimation taking place amongst your colleagues!
In business, we are sometimes confronted by a doozy of a question. It could be from the Board Chairperson, an unhappy client, a town hall meeting for the staff, the union delegation, cranky shareholders, an overly ambitious peer during a presentation to the big bosses or a member of the audience attending one of our speeches. Usually we don’t handle it very well, because we rush to defang the question by answering it immediately. We speak, drawing on the first thing that pops into our mind, rather than going to our third or fourth more considered response.
When questions are thinly disguised incoming missiles, everyone around us takes cover, in case any of the debris lands on them. A lot of gazing at shoes starts to happen and we feel we are out there on our own. Counter-intuitively, when we handle one of these very hot ones, everyone is really impressed and our stocks rise substantially. So knowing how to deal with danger can be a rather large positive. Great, so how do we deal with trouble?
This requires discipline, concentration and courage. Do not allow your face to show the shock of the assault. Put up the best poker face you can manage as you listen to the tirade. That also applies to your body. I was under attack in a public situation and I caught myself moving my head slowly from side to side, as a sign of my negativity to what was being proffered. I wasn’t even aware at the start that I was even doing that, so we have to be careful to rein ourselves in physically.
Also never nod up and down as you listen to the question under any circumstances. It is a habit we have created to acknowledge that we are listening to you, but it can get us into trouble. If it is being filmed, the clever editor will run your apparent agreement with either the negative comment of one of the participants or from the host of the show. It looks like you are agreeing with them.
Repeat the question, but do it in a way that kills the power of the weapon. In a public occasion, people often cannot hear the question, so it is legitimate to repeat it for the audience. When we repeat it though, we emasculate it. For example, imagine it is a town hall meeting and the question rockets in that, “Isn’t it true that 15% of the staff are going to be fired in this financial year?”. We don’t repeat , “The question was are we going to fire 15% of the staff before year end?”. Instead we neutralise the fire of the words and say, “The question was about staffing levels”.
Just by going through this process alone, we are buying ourselves valuable thinking time. We can add extra thinking time when we include a cushion statement. This cushion is nice, fluffy and soft and is placed between the hard, sharp edges of the question and our answer. In the example above I might say, “Getting the correct balance between work volumes and staff to do the work is important”. In the cushion, we are looking for a statement which will not ignite more opposition or raise temperatures in the room. We want something bland and neutral. This statement gives us more scope to formulate our answer to the question. Remember, we are looking for the answer as close as possible to the one you get hours later, when you have thought further about it and realize, “I should have said this or that”. Too late by then, but if we can buy a bit of time we will do much better with our immediate answer.
When answering the questions we can deny it, admit it, reverse the proposition or explain it. If it is factually incorrect, misinformation or a misinterpretation we need to deny it, in order to quash rumors and incorrect musings.
If it is true, then own up to any misunderstandings, mistakes, or errors. There is nothing so pathetic as someone who is clearly wrong, trying to wriggle out of it with mealy mouthed excuses. Harden up and be accountable.
If it is a negative, there may be some silver lining in the clouds. We need to look for that and bring it forth in an attempt to create some better balance of the interpretation of what has happened.
We can also simply explain what is going on. We can clarify misunderstandings, give background information which led to the decision in dispute and provide other relevant details.
No matter which of these we choose, we need to be very careful when delivering it. When presenting we always spend six seconds using our eye contact to engage with each person in our audience. When starting the answer, look straight into the eyes of the person who raised the question. No matter how scary they seem, look straight at them. After that ignore them completely and only talk to the others in the room. Look at each person for six seconds and then move on to the next person. Keep repeating this.
Often people are trying to upstage us, embarrass us, make themselves look smarter than we are or any other number of stupendously stupid motivations. Don’t give them any additional attention. By ignoring them completely, we take away the limelight and their power. If it is an incoming missile, they are not for converting to your point of view, so don’t even bother.
To get the balance back on track, after giving your brief answer to their missile question, tack on a piece of good news about what the organisation is doing. We need to re-arrange the audience’s perspectives. They are focused on what is wrong through the question, so we also need to get them considering what is working well.
When we use these techniques, we look sensational because everyone else in the room is cringing, trying to become the smallest possible target and worried they might be next for a tongue lashing. We hold our head up high, defuse the missile and look so professional. If your boss is unhinged like our erstwhile President at the beginning of this story, then getting your seating arrangements properly sorted is your only hope!
Engaged employees are self-motivated. The self-motivated are inspired. Inspired staff grow your business but are you inspiring them? We teach leaders and organisations how to inspire their people. Want to know how we do that? Contact me at greg.story@dalecarnegie.com
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About The Author
Dr. Greg Story: President, Dale Carnegie Training Japan
In the course of his career Dr. Greg Story has moved from the academic world, to consulting, investments, trade representation, international diplomacy, retail banking and people development. Growing up in Brisbane, Australia he never imagined he would have a Ph.D. in Japanese decision-making and become a 30 year veteran of Japan.
A committed lifelong learner, through his published articles in the American, British and European Chamber journals, his videos and podcasts “THE Leadership Japan Series”, "THE Sales Japan series", THE Presentations Japan Series", he is a thought leader in the four critical areas for business people: leadership, communication, sales and presentations. Dr. Story is a popular keynote speaker, executive coach and trainer.
Since 1971, he has been a disciple of traditional Shitoryu Karate and is currently a 6th Dan. Bunbu Ryodo (文武両道-both pen & sword) is his mantra and he applies martial art philosophies and strategies to business.
